Shortarmguy's Inspirational Page
On this page, I will post the most inspirational material I receive on any given day. So email email@example.com the best stuff you get. Life can be darn tough sometimes and every now and then you might need a little happiness booster. I'm hoping this page may accomplish that. After you read a few of these, you can push back from your keyboard, throw your arms in the air, wave them back and forth and scream "I'm glad to be alive!" If this happens to you, please send pictures and I'll post them here!
September 28, 2002
Tax Cuts Explained
Let's put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand.
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this. The first four men -- the poorest -- would pay nothing; the fifth would pay $1; the sixth would pay $3; the seventh $7; the eighth $12; the ninth $18. The tenth man -- the richest -- would pay $59.
That's what they decided to do.
The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement -- until one day, the owner threw them a curve.
"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20."
So now dinner for the ten only cost $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free.
But what about the other six -- the paying customers?
How could they divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his "fair share?"
The six men realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would end up being *paid* to eat their meal.
So the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so the fifth man paid nothing, the sixth pitched in $2, the seventh paid $5, the eighth paid $9, the ninth paid $12, leaving the tenth man with a bill of $52 instead of his earlier $59.
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free.
But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth. "But he got $7!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got seven times more than me!"
"That's true!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $7 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"
"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night he didn't show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him.
But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They were $52 short!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college instructors, is how the tax system works.
The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore.
September 21, 2002
Military Family Worth?
by Rush Limbaugh, March 11, 2002
I think the vast differences in compensation between the victims of the September 11th casualty, and those who die serving the country in uniform, are profound.
No one is really talking about it either because you just don't criticize anything having to do with September 11th.
Well, I just can't let the numbers pass by because it says something really disturbing about the entitlement mentality of this country.
If you lost a family member in the September 11th attack, you're going to get an average of $1,185,000. The range is a minimum guarantee of $250,000, all the way up to $4.7 million.
If you are a surviving family member of an American soldier killed in action, the first check you get is a $6,000 direct death benefit, half of which is taxable.
Next, you get $1,750 for burial costs.
If you are the surviving spouse, you get $833 a month until you remarry.
And there's a payment of $211 per month for each child under 18. When the child hits 18, those payments come to a screeching halt.
Keep in mind that some of the people that are getting an average of $1.185 million up to $4.7 million are complaining that it's not enough.
We also learned over the weekend that some of the victims from the Oklahoma City bombing have started an organization asking for the same deal that the September 11th families are getting.
In addition to that, some of the families of those bombed in the embassies are now asking for compensation as well.
You see where this is going, don't you?
Folks, this is part and parcel of over fifty years of entitlement politics in this country.
It's just really sad.
"Patriotism is not a short and frenzied outburst of emotion but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime."-Adlai E. Stevenson, Jr.
time when a pay raise comes up for the military they usually receive next to
nothing of a raise.
Now the green machine is in combat in the Middle East while their families have to survive on food stamps and live in low rent housing.
However our own U.S. Congress just voted themselves a raise, and many of you don't know that they only have to be in Congress one-time to receive a pension that is more than $15,000 per month and most are now equal to be millionaires plus.
They also do not receive Social Security on retirement because they didn't have to pay into the system.
If some of the military people stay in for 20 years and get out as an E-7 you may receive a pension of $1,000 per month, and the very people who placed you in harms way receive a pension of $15,000 per month.
I would like to see our elected officials pick up a weapon and join ranks before they start cutting out benefits and lowering pay for our sons and daughters who are now fighting.
"When do we finally do something about this ?"
September 15, 2002
A Tribute to the Victims of 9/11
Can't Cry Hard Enough
September 7, 2002
Hard to believe that it's been almost a year since the events of September 11, 2001.
Here are a couple of new websites that were emailed to me in the past week paying tribute to the victims.
Silent Night 9/11
America...I Love Her
This is a new email I received this week with one's soldiers feelings about the War On Terror.
THIS SHOULD BE PASSED ON TO EVERY
I sat in a movie theater watching "Schindler's List," asked myself, "Why didn't the Jews fight back?"
Now I know why.
I sat in a movie theater, watching "Pearl Harbor" and asked myself, "Why weren't we prepared?"
Now I know why.
Civilized people cannot fathom, much less
predict, the actions of evil people.
On September 11, dozens of capable airplane
passengers allowed themselves to be overpowered by a handful of poorly armed
terrorists because they did not comprehend the depth of hatred that motivated
On September 11, thousands of innocent people
were murdered because too many Americans naively reject the reality that some
nations are dedicated to the dominance of others. Many political pundits,
pacifists and media personnel want us to forget the carnage. They say we must
focus on the bravery of the rescuers and ignore the cowardice of the killers.
They implore us to understand the motivation of the perpetrators. Major
television stations have announced they will assist the healing process by not
replaying devastating footage of the planes crashing into the Twin Towers.
I will not be manipulated.
I will not pretend to understand.
I will not forget.
I will not forget the liberal media who abused
freedom of the press to kick our country when it was vulnerable and hurting.
I will not forget that CBS anchor Dan Rather
preceded President Bush's address to the nation with the snide remark, "No
matter how you feel about him, he is still our president."
I will not forget that ABC TV anchor Peter
Jennings questioned President Bush's motives for not returning immediately to
Washington, DC and commented, "We're all pretty skeptical and cynical about
And I will not forget that ABC's Mark Halperin
warned if reporters weren't informed of every little detail of this war, they
aren't "likely -- nor should they be expected -- to show deference."
I will not isolate myself from my fellow
Americans by pretending an attack on the USS Cole in Yemen was not an attack on
the United States of America.
I will not forget the Clinton administration
equipped Islamic terrorists and their supporters with the world's most
sophisticated telecommunications equipment and encryption technology, thereby
compromising America's ability to trace terrorist radio, cell phone, land lines,
faxes and modem communications.
I will not be appeased with pointless, quick
retaliatory strikes like those perfected by the previous administration.
I will not be comforted by "feel-good, do
nothing" regulations like the silly "Have your bags been under your
control?" question at the airport.
I will not be influenced by so called,
"antiwar demonstrators" who exploit the right of expression to chant
I will not forget the moral victory handed the
North Vietnamese by American war protesters who reviled and spat upon the
returning soldiers, airmen, sailors and Marines.
I will not be softened by the wishful thinking
of pacifists who chose! reassurance over reality.
I will embrace the wise words of Prime
Minister Tony Blair who told Labor Party conference, "They have no moral
inhibition on the slaughter of the innocent. If
they could have murdered not 7,000 but 70,000, does anyone doubt they would have
done so and rejoiced in it?
There is no compromise possible with such
people, no meeting of minds, no point of understanding with such terror. Just a
choice: defeat it or be defeated by it. And defeat it we must!"
I will force myself to:
-hear the weeping
-feel the helplessness
-imagine the terror
-sense the panic
-smell the burning flesh
-experience the loss
-remember the hatred.
I sat in a movie theater, watching
"Private Ryan" and asked myself, "Where did they find the
Now I know.
We have no choice. Living without liberty is
-- Ed Evans, MGySgt., USMC (Ret.)
Not as lean, Not as mean, But still a Marine.
September 1, 2002
25 PHRASES OF WISDOM:
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
August 25, 2002
What is a Boy?
Between the innocence of babyhood and the dignity of manhood, we find a
delightful creature called a boy. Boys come in assorted sizes, weights, and colors, but all boys have the same creed: to enjoy every second of every minute of every day and to protest with noise when the last minute is finished and they are packed off to bed.
Boys are found everywhere; on top of, inside of, climbing on, swinging from or running around or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls hate them, older brothers and sisters tolerate them, adults ignore them and Heaven protects them. A boy is truth with dirt on its face, beauty with a cut on its finger, wisdom with bubble gum in its hair, and the hope of the future with a frog in its pocket.
When you are busy, a boy is an inconsiderate nuisance, a bothersome jangle of noise. When you want to make an impression, his brain turns to jelly or else he becomes a savage sadistic jungle creature bent on destroying the world and him with it.
A boy is a composite - he has the appetite of a horse, the digestion of a sword swallower, the energy of a pocket size atomic bomb, the curiosity of a cat, the lungs of a dictator, the imagination of Paul Bunyan, the shyness of a violet, the audacity of a steel trap, the enthusiasm of a fire-cracker, and when he makes something, he has six thumbs on each hand.
He likes ice-cream, saws, knives, the boy across the street, woods, water (in it's natural habitat), large animals, Dad, trains, and fire engines He is not much for Sunday School, company, schools, books without pictures, music lessons, neckties, barber shops, girls, overcoats, adults or bed time. Nobody else is so early to rise or so late to supper.
A boy is a magical creature - you can lock him out of your workshop, but not out of your heart. You can get him out of your study but not out of your mind.
Might as well give up. He is your captor, jailer, boss, and master - a pint sized bundle of noise - but when you come home at night with all the shattered pieces of hopes and dreams - he can mend them like new with the magic words: "Hi Dad" or "Hi Mom, I missed you."
~Adapted from the original by Alan Beck~
Essay submitted by: Harry Updegraff, Jr
August 18, 2002
"The positive side of life"
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.
Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
Ever notice that the people who are late are
often much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them?
Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
If Walmart is lowering prices every day,
how come nothing is free yet?
You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun
to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty,
some are dull, some have weird names,
and all are different colors....but
they all exist very nicely in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who
can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
August 11, 2002
Between the field where the flag is planted there are 9+ miles of flower fields that go all the way to the ocean. The flowers are grown by seed companies.
It's a beautiful place close to Vandenberg AFB. Checkout the dimensions of the flag.
The 2002 Floral Flag is 740 feet long and 390 feet wide and maintains the proper Flag dimensions as described in Executive Order #10834. This Flag is 6.65 acres and is the first Floral Flag to be planted with 5 pointed Stars comprised of White Larkspur. Each Star is 24 feet in diameter; Each Stripe is 30 feet wide. This Flag is estimated to contain more than 400,000 Larkspur plants with 4-5 flower stems each for a total of more than 2 million flowers.
You can drive by this flag on V Street south of Ocean Ave. in Lompoc, CA.
Aerial photo courtesy of Bill Morson ..
August 3, 2002
Thought you might enjoy this interesting prayer given in
KANSAS at the opening session of their Senate. It seems prayer still upsets some
When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the KANSAS SENATE, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard:
" Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, "Woe to those who call evil good," but that is exactly what we have done...
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our
values. We confess that:
We have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your Word and called it Pluralism.
...We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery,
...We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare,
...We have killed our unborn and called it choice,
...We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable,
...We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem,
...We have abused power and called it politics,
...We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition,
...We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of statement,
...We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.
...Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free
Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent: to
direct us to the center of Your will and to openly ask these things in the Name
of Your Son, the living Savior, Jesus Christ. " Amen!!
The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out during the prayer in protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls responding negatively. The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this prayer from India, Africa, and Korea. Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program, "The Rest of the Story," and received a larger response to his program than any other he has ever aired. With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called, "One nation under God."
Inspiration from the past
Inspiration June and July 2002
Inspiration April and May 2002
Inspiration February and March 2002
Inspiration December and January 2002
Inspiration October and November 2001
Inspiration August and September 2001
Inspiration Pre August, 2001
|The Legend of ShortArmGuy|
|ShortArmGuy's Comedy Act|
|ShortArmGuy's Multimedia Bits|
|ShortArmGuy's Enemies List|
|ShortArmGuy's Crazy Emails|
|ShortArmGuy's Favorite Websites|
Feedback for me?
Suggestions for site improvements?
Funny jokes, audio files, video files that I can post here?
Links to inspirational sites?
Naked pictures of yourself or your girlfriend?
Email me at mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
Copyright © 2000 by Swank! Productions --- All rights reserved