Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails
On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day. So email email@example.com the best stuff you get. I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get. Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people. So no more damn copyright lawsuits!
Warning! Adult Material Below!
July 25, 2001 Emails
Why Stick People Went Extinct!
An old man walks into a
Catholic Church confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: I am 92 years old, I have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.
Priest: Are you sorry for your sins?
Man: What sins?
Priest: What kind of a Catholic are you?
Man: I'm Jewish.
Priest: Why are you telling me all this?
Man: I'm telling everybody.
July 13, 2001 Emails
***Sent by Jason Davis of Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Just thought I'd let you know I checked out your website. When is it going to be e-commerce capable? I'd like to order a short arm guy blow up doll to butt fuck.
Why men aren't allowed to dress their children!
Players caught collecting golf balls will just have their balls kicked!
July 7, 2001 Emails
Stolen from theonion.com
I claim eminent domain over all Handicapped Jokes on the Internet per section 4 paragraph A14 under the Americans with Disabilities Act.
A woman is shopping in the local supermarket. She selects the following:
- a package of bacon. - milk - eggs - a carton of juice
She unloads her items at the cash register to pay, a drunk standing behind her in line watches her place the four items on the belt and states with assurance, "You must be single."
The woman looks at the four items on the belt, and seeing nothing unusual about her selection says,
"That's right. How on earth did you know?"
He replies, "Because you're ugly "
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