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Shortarmguy's Inspirational Page
On this page, I will post the most inspirational material I receive on any given day. So email shortarmguy@aol.com the best stuff you get. Life can be darn tough sometimes and every now and then you might need a little happiness booster. I'm hoping this page may accomplish that. After you read a few of these, you can push back from your keyboard, throw your arms in the air, wave them back and forth and scream "I'm glad to be alive!" If this happens to you, please send pictures and I'll post them here!
November 24, 2002
SHAME ON YOU AMERICAN HATING
LIBERALS
Tony Parsons
Daily Mirror
September 11, 2002
ONE year ago, the world witnessed a unique kind of broadcasting - the mass murder of thousands, live on television. As a lesson in the pitiless cruelty of the human race, September 11 was up there with Pol Pot's mountain of skulls in Cambodia, or the skeletal bodies stacked like garbage in the Nazi concentration camps. An unspeakable act so cruel, so calculated and so utterly merciless that surely the world could agree on one thing - nobody deserves this fate. Surely there could be consensus: the victims were truly innocent, the perpetrators truly evil. But to the world's eternal shame, 9/11 is increasingly seen as America's comeuppance.
Incredibly, anti-Americanism has increased over the last year. There has
always been a simmering resentment to the USA in this country - too loud, too
rich, too full of themselves and so much happier than Europeans - but it has
become an epidemic.
And it seems incredible to me. More than that, it turns my stomach. America is this country's greatest friend and our staunchest ally. We are bonded to the US by culture, language and blood. A little over half a century ago, around half a million Americans died for our freedoms, as well as their own. Have we forgotten so soon?
And exactly a year ago, thousands of ordinary men, women and children - not just Americans, but from dozens of countries - were butchered by a small group of religious fanatics. Are we so quick to betray them?
What touched the heart about those who died in the twin towers and on the planes was that we recognized them. Young fathers and mothers, somebody's son and somebody's daughter, husbands and wives, and children, some unborn.
And these people brought it on themselves? And their nation is to blame for their meticulously planned slaughter? These days you don't have to be some dust-encrusted nut job in Kabul or Karachi or Finsbury Park to see America as the Great Satan. The anti-American alliance is made up of self-loathing liberals who blame the Americans for every ill in the Third World, and conservatives suffering from power-envy, bitter that the world's only superpower can do what it likes without having to ask permission.
The truth is that America has behaved with enormous restraint since September 11.
Remember, remember. Remember the gut-wrenching tapes of weeping men phoning their wives to say, "I love you," before they were burned alive. Remember those people leaping to their deaths from the top of burning skyscrapers. Remember the hundreds of firemen buried alive. Remember the smiling face of that beautiful little girl who was on one of the planes with her mum. Remember, remember - and realize that America has never retaliated for 9/11 in anything like the way it could have. So a few al-Qaeda tourists got locked without a trial in Camp X-ray? Pass the Kleenex. So some Afghan wedding receptions were shot up after they merrily fired their semi-automatics in a sky full of American planes? A shame, but maybe next time they should stick to confetti.
AMERICA could have turned a large chunk of the world into a parking lot. That it didn't is a sign of strength. American voices are already being raised against attacking Iraq - that's what a democracy is for. How many in the Islamic world will have a minute's silence for the slaughtered innocents of 9/11? How many Islamic leaders will have the guts to say that the mass murder of 9/11 was an abomination? When the news of 9/11 broke on the West Bank, those freedom-loving Palestinians were dancing in the street.
America watched all of that - and didn't push the button. We should thank the stars that America is the most powerful nation in the world. I still find it incredible that 9/11 did not provoke all-out war. Not a "war on terrorism". A real war. The fundamentalist dudes are talking about "opening the gates of hell", if America attacks Iraq. Well, America could have opened the gates of hell like you wouldn't believe. The US is the most militarily powerful nation that ever strode the face of the earth. The campaign in Afghanistan may have been less than perfect and the planned war on Iraq may be misconceived. But don't blame America for not bringing peace and light to these wretched countries. How many democracies are there in the Middle East, or in the Muslim world? You can count them on the fingers of one hand - assuming you haven't had any chopped off for minor shoplifting.
I love America, yet America is hated. I guess that makes me Bush's poodle. But I would rather be a dog in New York City than a Prince in Riyadh. Above all, America is hated because it is what every country wants to be - rich, free, strong, open, optimistic. Not ground down by the past, or religion, or some caste system.
America is the best friend this country ever had and we should start remembering that.
Or do you really think the USA is the root of all evil? Tell it to the loved
ones of the men and women who leaped to their death from the burning
towers. Tell it to the nursing mothers whose husbands died on one of the
hijacked planes, or were ripped apart in a collapsing skyscraper. And tell
it to the hundreds of young widows whose husbands worked for the New York Fire
Department.
To our shame, George Bush gets a
worse press than Saddam Hussein. Once we were told that Saddam gassed the
Kurds, tortured his own people and set up rape-camps in Kuwait. Now we are told
he likes Quality
Street. Save me the orange centre, oh mighty one!
Remember, remember, September 11.
One of the greatest atrocities in human history was committed against America.
No, do more than remember. Never forget.
Tony Parsons
Daily Mirror
September 11, 2002
November 17, 2002
Read Dawn's Brown's sad, sad story.
Spread the word about this website. They are trying to raise money to pay for their medical bills. If the internet can be used to get a crackpot like savekaryn rich, we should be able to use it to help these people out.
November 10, 2002
25 things you should have learned by the time you
reach middle age
1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a
garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change
places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before
you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake
when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat!!!
November 3, 2002
These just may be the best 12 rules in life...
1. Never give yourself a haircut after three
margaritas.
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it
should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I
apologize" and "you are right."
4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.
7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year
from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"
8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow
while it's still warm.
9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or
former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.
11. Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you can't take
it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend all they saved;
some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn't really ours; it was
given to us by God; He just let us borrow it while we're here....even our kids.
12. And finally... Be really good to your family and/or friends. You never know
when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
October 26, 2002
Check out the image the sun makes on this flag being raised
October 20, 2002
We, the sensible people
of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some
semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote
positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves
and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and
establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden,
delusional, and other liberal, bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be
self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and
are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other
form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is
guaranteed anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is
based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may
leave the room, turn the channel, express a different
opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a
screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool
manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are
the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but
we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of
professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of
another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice,
but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health
care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you
kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the
rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob,
cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised
if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a
place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of
leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their
lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive
governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd
like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to
spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military
uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to
have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to
take advantage of the opportunities of education and
vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that
you have the right to pursue happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you
are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who
were confused by the Bill of Rights.
October 12, 2002
The Ant and the Grasshopper Story
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and
laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer
away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or
shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and
laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer
away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table
filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of
such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit, the
Frog, appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing
"It's Not Easy Being Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house, where the news
stations film the group singing "We Shall Overcome." Al Gore
exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off
the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to
make him pay his "fair share".
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti- grasshopper Act,
retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and,
having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
government.
Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal
judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's
food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now
abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once-peaceful
neighborhood.
October 5, 2002
Mean
Moms
Someday when my children are old enough to understand
the logic that
motivates a parent, I will tell them: I loved you enough...to ask where
you
were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough...to insist that you save your money
and buy a bike for
yourself even though we could afford to buy one for you.
I loved you enough...to be silent and let you discover
that your new best
friend was a creep.
I loved you enough...to make you go pay for the bubble
gum you had taken
and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."
I loved you enough...to stand over you for two hours
while you cleaned your
room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough...to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes.
Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough...to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even
when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough...to say NO when I
knew you would hate
me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all.
I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when
your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you
will tell them...
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had
the meanest mother in the
whole world!
While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to
have cereal, eggs, and
toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had
to eat sandwiches.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what
other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times.
You'd think we were
convicts in a prison.
She had to know who our friends were, and what we were
doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for
an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to
break the Child Labor
Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.
I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing
but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds.
Then,
life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when
they drove up.
They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.
While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13,
we had to wait
until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things
other kids
experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing
other's
property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest
adults. We are
doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It
just doesn't have enough mean moms.
Inspiration from the past
Inspiration August and September 2002
Inspiration June and July 2002
Inspiration April and May 2002
Inspiration February and March 2002
Inspiration December and January 2002
Inspiration October and November 2001
Inspiration August and September 2001
Feedback for me?
Suggestions for site improvements?
Funny jokes, audio files, video files that I can post here?
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Naked pictures of yourself or your girlfriend?
Email me at mailto:shortarmguy@aol.com
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