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Shortarmguy Visits The Minnesota Zoo

January 31, 2010

This is Alan Daly.  He found Shortarmguy.com about six years after doing a web search for funny videos.  He told me he's been coming back ever since.  Alan lives relatively close by to us and asked if he could buy me a beer some time, so I took him up on his offer.  Oh sure, we made a lot of stalker jokes before we went, but actually found him to be a very nice guy.  Although I'm not sure why he wanted me to ride home with him in the trunk of his car.  I'm guessing that's just the way he is with people.

Another Saturday, another basketball game watching Avery play.  I remember he either made a basket or a steal in this shot, but I'll be darned if I can remember which.

After the game, we drove to the Minnesota Zoo to mess with the animals.

The Coral Reef is neat to see through the glass wall underneath, but the real action happens up-top where you have access to the fish.  Sadly though, no matter how many times Miss Sheri tried, they just wouldn't eat her spit.

I tried to tell Avery the story of the time we brought him to this wave pool when he was around 4 years old.  He was leaning way in to touch the Starfish like I'm doing here.  Somehow, his mom and I lost control of him and he fell over head first into the water.  He was soaked from his elbows to the top of his head and not very happy about it.  Well, Avery didn't want to hear anything about that story!  The boy's got too much pride.

Luke loves to tease the frogs.  He taunts them regarding the fact that he has more fingers than they do.  He doesn't get to do that with very many people.

We were able to get a lot of nice animal pictures while we were there.  It's interesting to see Raccoons in a natural state like this.  Normally when we see them in real life, they're immersed deep in a garbage can.

I must say there is no picture I like better than a good old fashioned Beaver Shot.

I thought this bird was really interesting.  Right after I took this picture, I told Luke to get close to it.  He took a step towards it and freaked the thing out so much that he nearly took off Miss Sheri's head as he flew past her.  I hope he didn't break any of those Funky Feathers on his head!

It takes a lot of worms to feed all them birds!

 Things never work out very well when one of the penguins wanders into one of the sea lion pools.

(Whoops.  Not sure how that photo snuck in here.  It's actually from the National Geographic Website.)




Nice Emails of the Week

Big Fan from Brazil

Sir, I only have one thing to say to you...



And if you come to Brazil one day.. please, let us know!

Renata Prohaska

from Brazil


This is a great event being organized by my Good Friend, "Krazy" Kelli Madson.  Please consider helping them out!!

WHAT: "Hearts for Haiti" fundraiser -- a Valentine's Party, Silent Auction, and online gift boutique to generate as much money as possible for the people of Haiti
WHY: To help save lives, feed the people and begin healing in Haiti
WHO: For the people of Haiti, through the "Meals from the Heartland" nonprofit organization.
WHEN: Friday, February 5th, 6:00pm, and also NOW, through our blog (
: Copper Creek Golf Course Clubhouse in Pleasant Hill, Iowa, generously donated by Copper Creek & Hubbell Realty


(Warning:  This email contains some pretty strong language.  If that sort of thing offends you, please scroll down past the purple text.)

I love you man, I get your emails nearly every day and I'm rewarded with
some good shit sometimes! If you recall, a few emails were shared between
yourself and I about Survivor, f'n funny shit! Now, I implore you to get involved with your own take on the upcoming Super Bowl between the Colts and Saints.
Topics to be covered:
1.-Amount of cash necessary for a 30 second commercial slot.

2.-How much garbage time spent on Peyton Manning's old man
being a former groundlicker for the 'Aint's back in the day. 
3.-How many times CBS' phil simms (yes, intentionally NON-capitalized)
during the Super Bowl says the word "because". Today during
the Colts vs. Jets telecast, reports counted 23 times in a 3
hour span. phil pronounces this special special word to the
audience as "bahcoze" or sometimes "bacub". The over/under
on this is 42. Why 19 above today's telecast? Excitability factor.
When excited, folks tend to repeat themselves, again and again.

4.-All the speculation behind Brett Favre's alleged retirement. Now
my favorite part in all of this is the declining appeal of his soon-to
-be-ex-wife Deana. In the stands today the viewing audience caught
an alleged glimpse of her taking a deep one from a 3-foot water bong
with the young lady next to her, presumably the daughter of said
soon-to-be-ex-wfe. Hey I don't know if it was just me but stop the
hillbilly bandwagon, I do believe Deana's cheeks were a bit sunken,
which means 1 of 2 things Mr. #4 lovers...she is either on her way
out, aging rapidly...or the more conventional assumption Deana's
on meth. I mean hey, even her lover Brett Favor admitted to using
painkillers (when she was f'n smokin' hot as a pre-cancer unknowing,
dumb country tight snatchy housewife blow-me-on-the-shitter girl)
as his stupid merkin-of-a-man head coach Mike Holmgren stood by,
high on the Vicodin the Favor man supplied him prior to the press
5.-Indianapolis, New Olreans, Miami...all of the east coast rambling. Not
to mention Fox's own terry bradshaw (also NOT CAPITALIZED) and his
own "love" for the New Orleans Saints. Now, this love is complicated. It
involves a call, from his brother no-less, the "Huxster", Holk Hogan...both
share the same hair-style and both sound like complete crackheaded
skullet-sporting nea nderthal's without a clue of what true gender they
are. Hux calls the 'shaw, Hux calls the shots, Hux kills shaw. There's your
pregame, there's my exit out of this email.
Goodnight from the advocate of child porn lead guitarist from The Who :)
P.S. Now. Seriously. How much publicity will this story get? Not a lick when comparing to more, "accomplished" athletes vying for a trophy, vying for immortality inside of a game, and vying for a chance to be remembered as this or that one, much like us all.


Quote of the Week

Dont be content with doing only your duty. Do more than your duty. Its the horse that finishes a neck ahead that wins the race.

Andrew Carnegie, industrialist


Favorite Shortarmguy Blog Posts From The Past Week


In The Can





Link To Last Week's Diary Entry

Shortarmguy and the Minneapolis Boat Show

January 24, 2010


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Shortarmguy --- Todd Swank



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