Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails
On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day. So email email@example.com the best stuff you get. I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get. Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people. So no more damn copyright lawsuits!
Warning! Adult Material Below!
November 25, 2001 Emails
Top 10 Naughty Sayings you can get away with on Thanksgiving
10. "Just reach in and grab the giblets."
9. "Whew...that's one terrific spread!"
8. "I am in the mood for a little dark meat!"
7. "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."
6. "Talk about a HUGE breast!"
5. "And he forces his way into the end zone!"
4. "She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."
3. "It's cool whip time!"
2. "If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"
1. "It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip,
nothing squirts out."
November 19, 2001 Emails
Cliff Nelson on his recent Mexico Trip!
November 11, 2001 Emails
"To think that at one time here on this very lot stood the Twin
The son looks at his father and asked: "Dad, what are the Twin Towers?"
Father says: "My dear son, the Twin Towers were two tremendously
tall buildings with lots of offices that was the heart of the United States,
but approx 31 years ago several Arabs destroyed the buildings."
The boy then thought for a minute and then asked his father:
"Daddy, what are Arabs?
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