Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails
On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day. So email firstname.lastname@example.org the best stuff you get. I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get. Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people. So no more damn copyright lawsuits!
Warning! Adult Material Below!
April 30, 2002 Emails
I'm afraid my mouse may have died on me...
I previously had a photo on here showing a drunk cowboy being driven home by his dog. I removed the picture on February 22, 2003 after receiving the following email...
You have published on your website page http://www.shortarmguy.com/emailsapr02.htm
a photo taken and copyrighted by me, which you captioned "Designated
Driver" While I'm sure that you intended no harm in publishing
it, the fact remains that this photo was reproduced without my knowledge or
permission. Posting a photo on the web does in fact constitute publication
for US and international copyright purposes. As you can see on my website
, this particular photo is a postcard distributed by my company, and is the
cover art on my book The Duckboy Way, or Quack in the Saddle Again.
You can confirm this by searching amazon.com under the keyword "duckboy".
April 21, 2002 Emails
Banned Hallmark Teddy Bears
The best reason yet to stay away from drugs!
April 14, 2002 Emails
After much arguing
and deliberation, historians this week have come up with a phrase to describe
the Clinton Era. It will be called:
SEX BETWEEN THE BUSHES.
The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta announced that Clinton has proven that you can get sex from Aides.
Gennifer Flowers was asked if her relationship with Clinton was anything like Monica Lewinski's. She replied, "Close, but no cigar."
The FBI has coined
a technical term for the stains found on Monica's dress:
now recruits interns from only four colleges:
Moorhead, Oral Roberts, Ball State and Brigham Young.
Did you know that Clinton had asked to change the Democratic emblem from a donkey to a condom? It represents inflation, halts production, and gives you a false sense of security while you are being screwed.
Arkansas is very proud of Bill Clinton. All these women coming forward, and not one is his sister!
Hillary Clinton recently went to a fortuneteller who intoned, "! Prepare to
become a widow. Your husband will soon suffer a violent death!" Hillary
took a deep breath and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"
April 6, 2002 Emails
Last time I wash my care when it's 30 below!!
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