Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails

On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day.  So email the best stuff you get.  I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get.  Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people.  So no more damn copyright lawsuits! 


Warning!  Adult Material Below!


April 30, 2002 Emails

I'm afraid my mouse may have died on me...

I previously had a photo on here showing a drunk cowboy being driven home by his dog.  I removed the picture on February 22, 2003 after receiving the following email...

You have published on your website page  a photo taken and copyrighted by me, which you captioned "Designated Driver"   While I'm sure that you intended no harm in publishing it, the fact remains that this photo was reproduced without my knowledge or permission.  Posting a photo on the web does in fact constitute publication for US and international copyright purposes.  As you can see on my website  , this particular photo is a postcard distributed by my company, and is the cover art on my book The Duckboy Way, or Quack in the Saddle Again.  You can confirm this by searching under the keyword "duckboy".

April 21, 2002 Emails

Banned Hallmark Teddy Bears

The best reason yet to stay away from drugs!

April 14, 2002 Emails


Siamese Pike

Clinton Jokes

After much arguing and deliberation, historians this week have come up with a phrase to describe the Clinton Era. It will be called:

The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta announced that Clinton has proven that you can get sex from Aides.

Gennifer Flowers was asked if her relationship with Clinton was anything like Monica Lewinski's. She replied, "Close, but no cigar."

The FBI has coined a technical term for the stains found on Monica's dress:

Clinton now recruits interns from only four colleges:
Moorhead, Oral Roberts, Ball State and Brigham Young.

Did you know that Clinton had asked to change the Democratic emblem from a donkey to a condom? It represents inflation, halts production, and gives you a false sense of security while you are being screwed.

Arkansas is very proud of Bill Clinton.  All these women coming forward, and not one is his sister!

Finally, Hillary Clinton recently went to a fortuneteller who intoned, "! Prepare to become a widow. Your husband will soon suffer a violent death!" Hillary took a deep breath and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"


April 6, 2002 Emails

Last time I wash my care when it's 30 below!!


Crazy Email Archives

March, 2002

February, 2002

January, 2002

December, 2001

November, 2001

October, 2001

September, 2001

July, 2001

June, 2001

May, 2001

April, 2001

March, 2001

February, 2001

January, 2001



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