Site Links
|
Shortarmguy's Emails To Make You Think
July 29, 2007
You
You remember when Eddie Van Halen and Hugh Heffner were both single. "Van Halen just isn't the same without Dave." You remember when Rush was a heavy metal band, and Geddy Lee's voice could shatter glass. You saw the first "Less Filling/Tastes Great" commercial. You know the Fonz's full name. You decided to take up golf after you saw "Caddyshack." Cheech and Chong were really cool, man. Go, Speed Racer, go! Rocky and Bullwinkle, Speed Buggy, Underdog, and Get Smart were your favorite TV shows, right after Gilligan's Island. You remember all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song. Redd Foxx was great as Fred Sanford. Sonny Bono as mayor still wigs you out. You went around humming Manfred Mann's "Do Wah Diddy" for two weeks after you saw "Stripes." You've ever shouted, "I wanna rock and roll all night, and party every day!" You remember when OJ was famous for running through airports in Hertz commercials, or for playing football. Carroll O'connor was Archie Bunker, not that hick cop from Georgia. You still watch "The Jeffersons," and you're waiting for "Good Times" to come out on video. (Dyne-O-Mite!) ~ you know you said that too! It's sad to see Jimmie Walker, Evel Knievel, and Eddie Munster in those Little Caesar's ads. The words "How about a nice Hawaiian Punch?" and "Where's the beef?!" bring back fond childhood memories. Sesame Street and Star Trek played important roles during your formative years. You remember hollering out "HEY YOU GUYS" from Electric company on PBS channel You really liked the car in "Hardcastle and McCormick." You know what "Nanoo, nanoo" means. Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder really knew how to make an entrance into a prison cell. ("That's right, we bad....") You remember Velvet Jones, Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood, and Gumby, dammit! Before "NYPD Blue," it was "Hill Street Blues." And before that, it was "Baretta," "Columbo," and "Starsky & Hutch." You know where the line "Yo, Adrian!" came from. You watched ZOOM on TV. You took a date to see "St. Elmo's Fire." The video for Peter Gabriel's "Sledgehammer" was almost as badass as Dire Straits' "Money for Nothing." You remember Sting as the front man for the Police. You got sick of hearing George Michael's "Sex" over and over on the radio, kinda like Def Leppard...... You remember anything Bruce Springsteen did before "Born in the USA." You watched "Cagney and Lacey." You zaw zoze Zima commerzials on ze TV. ("Nice hat.") You know that the "Queen of Rock and Roll" is Rod Stewart. You know who Tennesee Tuxedo was. You used to watch "Hollywood Squares" because it was on between "Gomer Pyle, USMC" and "Batman ." You wore your jeans tight, not baggy like all your friends do now to hide their flabby backsides. You actually remember Spuds McKenzie, Alex from Stroh's, and the Swedish Bikini Team. You remember when Joe Camel made his first appearance, on the 75th birthday commemorative pack. You remember when Patrick Duffy went from being "The Man from Atlantis" to Bobby Ewing. You know who shot JR. Before he starred with Lou Ferigno in "The Increduble Hulk," Bill Bixby played in "The Courtship of Eddie's Father." (After he did "My Favorite Martian," of course.) Remember "Real People" and "That's Incredible"? Dennis Miller, for just an instant, was actually as funny as he thought he was. You were afraid of the Sleestaks on "Land of the Lost". You remember the days that hooking your computer into your television wasn't an expensive option that required gadgets - it was the ONLY WAY to use your computer! "IntelliVision" and "Coleco". Sound familiar? You see teenagers today wearing clothes that show up in those childhood photos, and they still look bad. You remember when music that was labeled "alternative" really was. You, yes you, sat down and memorized the entire lyric sheet to "It's the End of the World as We Know It". Or worst yet-DELTA DAWN ! You've ever conversationally used the phrase "Jane, you ignorant slut". You watched HR Puffenstuff as a child, but now that you're older, you really understand that it would have been much better had you known about drugs at the time. You're starting to view getting carded to buy alcohol as a GOOD thing. You ever used the phrase "kiss mah grits" in conversation. You remember trying to guess the episode of the Brady Bunch from the first scene. This rings a bell: "and my name, is Charlie. They work for me." You ever wanted to learn to play "Stairway to Heaven" on the guitar or Piano You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on, after all, look at Tab. You remember when your cable TV box had the three rows of numbers and you had to move the selector switch accordingly. July 22, 2007
The Station
July 15, 2007
Deer Fishing
July 8, 2007 Fun Facts * The term the "Boogey Man will get you" comes from the Boogey people, who still inhabit an area of Indonesia. These people still act as pirates today and attack ships that pass. Thus the term spread "if you don't watch out the Boogey man will get you."
* The
average ear of corn has eight-hundred kernels arranged in sixteen rows. * Chances that a burglary in the US will be solved: 1 in 7 * Portion of land in the US owned by the government: 1/3 * Only animal besides human that can get sunburn: Pig * Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better. * Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where he/she grew up: 1 in 2
* Smartest
dogs: 1) border collie; 2) poodle; 3) golden retriever The energy in an average one day hurricane could power the United States for three years. How many states are named after a president?????........ One- Washington A hamlet is a village without a church. The 'Happy Birthday' song is actually copyrighted. So legally and technically, if you somehow profit from the song you are entitled to pay royalties to the Time-Warner Corporation The new IRS employee manual includes provisions for collecting taxes in the aftermath of a (nuclear war)! Money Facts
$100 Note Fact Sheet The life span of a $1 Federal Reserve Note is 21 months. Other denominations have different life spans. The average life span of a Federal Reserve Note by denomination: Denomination Life Span
$ 1
..........................21 months
$ 20
.................……24 months Look on the back of a $5 bill. If you look carefully you can read the names of the states along the top of the Lincoln Memorial. June 30, 2007 Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE-PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE) You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having "wealth" from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, "Purpose Driven Life " author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California .
In the interview by
Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
In
a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last
forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
June 24, 2007 Grass
GOD:
ST. CATHERINE:
June 17, 2007 Angels, Explained by children Sarah, 7 " I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold." Gregory, 5 "Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it." Olive, 9 "It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven, then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes." Matthew, 9 "Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else." Mitchell, 7 "My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science." Henry, 8 "Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!!." Jack, 6 "Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead." Daniel, 9 "When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado." Reagan, 10 "Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go north for the Winter." Sara, 6 "Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter." Jared , 8 "All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go for it." Katelynn, 9 "Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it." Vicki, 8 "What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them." Antonio, 9 "My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth."
June 10, 2007 How Come?
How Come there is no word in the English language that rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? I asked Mom if I was a gifted child...she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me. If Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?
Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an
appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner." If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know? If carrots are so good for the eyes, why do I see so many dead rabbits on the highway? How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? Dijon vu - Is it the same mustard as before? How Come You read about all these terrorists; most of them came here legally but they hang around on expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you are two days late with a video and these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration. Why is it that the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary?
June 2, 2007 CHECK IT OUT!!!!!
My mailbox is
being flooded with mail concerning gas prices and illegal
immigrants. To boycott oil companies or not; to provide amnesty
to illegal immigrants or not, etc. Since I have become jaded to
the various solutions proposed by the Republicans, Democrats,
Sierra Club, ACLU, etc. I have elected to solve the problems as
they affect me. It solves both my gas and illegal immigrant
problems.
TICK WARNING..............
Angels Explained by Children
Sarah, 7
" I only know the names of two angels. Hark and
Harold."
Gregory, 5
"Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear
halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it."
Olive, 9
"It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die.
Then you go to heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go
through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes."
Matthew, 9
"Angels work for God and watch over kids when God
has to go do something else."
Mitchell, 7
"My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not
much good for science."
Henry, 8
"Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy
Cows!!!."
Jack, 6
"Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up
to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead."
Daniel, 9
"When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and
counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a
tornado."
Reagan, 10
"Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If
you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money
under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go north for the
Winter."
Sara, 6
"Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his
son, who's a very good carpenter."
Jared , 8
"All angels are girls because they gotta wear
dresses and boys didn't go for it."
Katelynn, 9
"Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal
sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they
help the child get over it."
Vicki, 8
"What I don't get about angels is why, when someone
is in love, they shoot arrows at them."
Antonio,
9
"My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on
helping me while she was still down here on earth."
Inspiration from the past Inspiration April and May 2007 Inspiration February and March 2007 Inspiration December and January 2007 Inspiration October and November 2006 Inspiration August and September 2006 Inspiration June and July 2006 Inspiration April and May 2006 Inspiration February and March 2006 Inspiration December and January 2006 Inspiration October and November 2005 Inspiration August and September 2005 Inspiration June and July 2005 Inspiration April and May 2005 Inspiration February and March 2005 Inspiration December and January 2005 Inspiration October and November 2004 Inspiration August and September 2004 Inspiration June and July 2004 Inspiration April and May 2004 Inspiration February and March 2004 Inspiration December and January 2004 Inspiration October and November 2003 Inspiration August and September 2003 Inspiration June and July 2003 Inspiration April and May 2003 Inspiration February and March 2003 Inspiration December and January 2003 Inspiration October and November 2002 Inspiration August and September 2002 Inspiration June and July 2002 Inspiration April and May 2002 Inspiration February and March 2002 Inspiration December and January 2002 Inspiration October and November 2001 Inspiration August and September 2001
|
|
On this page, I will post the most inspirational material I receive on any given day. So email shortarmguy@aol.com the best stuff you get. Life can be darn tough sometimes and every now and then you might need a little happiness booster. I'm hoping this page may accomplish that. After you read a few of these, you can push back from your keyboard, throw your arms in the air, wave them back and forth and scream "I'm glad to be alive!" If this happens to you, please send pictures and I'll post them here!
Help Support Shortarmguy.com!!
Feedback for me? Suggestions for site improvements? Funny jokes, audio files, video files that I can post here? Links to inspirational sites? Naked pictures of yourself or your girlfriend? Email me at mailto:shortarmguy@aol.com Copyright © 2007 by Swank! Productions --- All rights reserved
|
|