Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails
On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day. So email firstname.lastname@example.org the best stuff you get. I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get. Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people. So no more damn copyright lawsuits!
Warning! Adult Material Below!
July 25, 2004
Is That A Moose In Your Windshield Or Are You Just Excited To See Me?
A Good Reason Not To Follow Mama Duck
All right, who's turn to water the damned plants.
Nice Email Of The Week
Thanks for keeping me on your mailing list. I enjoy going to your site. You are an inspiration for me.
Ok, so I am an old lady, (72) but having discovered that I have a serious problem with my spine, in the form of a couple of compressed disks in the Lumbar area, I need all the encouragement I can get.
Having survived the winter from hell, and may yet need surgery, I am dealing with being unable to lift more than 15 lbs. Especially painful, since a new granddaughter had already exceeded the limit when I was told this fact. (3 seconds of moping, here). So I go to your site and read the line at the top,
Crippled is a State of Mind. And say, KT, get over it. Its just the way it is.
I have a nephew who was afflicted with paralyetic polio at the age of 3, and even though he has been able to dispose of the braces, his spine is scoliosed. Now at the age of 48, you'd think he was laying in some hospital someplace. But no, he isn't. He has worked all his adult life, and still slings a mean paint brush, painting houses.
Why am I telling you this? Well, actually, he has been an inspiration to me of what the human spirit can overcome if a person choses to. He could have just laid back and collected a gov. pension and never done a lick of work. But he never did that. So you see, I think of the two of you as being kindred spirits. You have never allowed your physical condition to overshadow your life, in fact, you have made a career of dealing with it. That is how I see the two of you. He works, and ignores any of the crass things people say and do. Some people are so insensitive they think nothing of asking him, "Bo, what has made your back so screwy" or some other equally stupid remark. We, his Mom & I) taught him to say "why do you want to know?" once in a while to see the responses. That really throws people off. He is a jewel, just like you.
I know you have had a much harder time of it, but God Bless you, you are not "crippled" in your mind. There are a lot of people I know who have the opposite problem, totally crippled on the inside, and that kind of problem never heals.
I worked as a critical care nurse for many years, and also taught nursing for 12 years. What an experience. Some of the patients I cared for were taken, as an adult, from healthy, vigorous lives, and reduced to incredible handicaps. Watching them recover and deal with (or not) their problems was an education in itself. None of them dealt with it more courageously as you are doing.
Ok, I better close this off before I start blathering. Old people do that a lot. :)
You don't have to respond, I just wanted to keep in touch. I have shared your site with a few select friends, especially those who have problems, either emotional or physical. I tell them, Go read about this young man and his life. It is a powerful message. I rarely have to say any more. I hope you understand what I mean by this. I would never exploit your website.
God Bless you and keep you safe.
& Prayers, KT
July 18, 2004
My beloved co-workers think I'm bothered by the fact that I'm losing my hair. So to prove that I have no shame in any part of my appearance, I will post this clever little creation of theirs. They call me Monkey Butt, because whenever my bald spot gets sunburned my head looks like a baboon's ass.
Aren't they funny guys?
Now I Dare Them To Show Their Flaws To The World!
It will never happen, because they're scared little girls!
I'll never drink Coke again after seeing this before and after picture!!
Never Mix Beer and Viagra
Funny Things Found In the Newspaper
The Disadvantage of Being A Seeing Eye Dog
Nice Email Of The Week
Hi Todd, this is Amy, and I just found your site tonight. Like it or not, you really are an inspiration! And your site is hilarious.
July 11, 2004
The Scariest Deer Hunter You'll Ever Meet
I Like The Deer Meat!!
The Official Clinton Portrait Has Been Unveiled
This night has trouble written all over it!!
It really might be time to quit drinking!!!!
July 4, 2004
Top Rejected Book Covers For The Bill Clinton Book
Death By Viagra
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