Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails
On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day. So email firstname.lastname@example.org the best stuff you get. I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get. Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people. So no more damn copyright lawsuits!
Warning! Adult Material Below!
August 29, 2004
Nice Catch, Grandpa!!
Truth In Packaging!
The Real Olympic Highlights
"Why don't you wear Silver. It would be nice if you came second for a change!"
The Olympic Gayyyyymes!
This Olympic Swimmer Must Be A Shortarmguy Fan.
The Soccer Match We Really Want To See!
I Love All Sports!!
Nice Email Of The Week
Want To Buy This Cool Backpack? Click The Picture!!
August 21, 2004
Best Diamond Ad Ever
Hey! No Hitting Below The Belt!!
More 2004 Election Fun
Best line of the day has to be The View's co-host, Joy Behar
remark upon seeing this picture.
"This must be the first time they've slept together in years!"
Nice Email Of The Week
This is another email from JD who is in the army and stationed in Camp Arifjan, Kuwait.
hey, check out my jokes that I have compiled from many sources at
not my fault if you don't get any sleep reading all of them... don't blame me!
August 14, 2004
Ever since I showed the controversial Ford Sportka Video in which a sunroof cuts off a cat's head and received an email from a gentleman who was quite upset about it, people keep sending me their favorite cat pictures!!
I thought these pictures of some cats making friends with a bald eagle were pretty cool!!
I wish they would have sent the 4th picture which shows the eagle grabbing the kitty with his death grasp and flying away!
Actually, the white kitties were pretty well protected by their friend in the window above!
No more wire hangers!!!
Election Season Is Just Staring To Get Fun!!
I think the face of this little girl is a good representation of how the average American voter feels when trying to make a decision from the available candidates!
Nice Email Of The Week
Hey there Todd,
I'm the cool-looking bald dude who recognized you at Valleyfair last summer (bright shining moment of the year if I recall). My wife was all freaked that if it wasn't you, she said I'd really be offending someone by calling them "Short-arm guy" if they didn't know about the website.
Anyways, I just watched the clip of Round 1 at ACME, very nicely done! I'm curious when round 2 is. We'd love to be there in your corner, you gotta throw that stuff up on the site. If you want the crippled coalition out in full force you need to let us know. My crippleness isn't to your degree I know,(folically challenged here, but God gave me the same deal) but do it for all of us!
Let me know if you get a sec.
Nice Email Of The Week 2
This just came in. I always get so excited when I get an email from one of our brave men and women in the military serving overseas. So I just had to add it to this week's update!
Subject of the email: POT Club
ok... so not what you expected. Just read your site here at
my office at
Camp Arifjan, Kuwait. Yes, I am in the Army. I am from Mississippi and I
am a Parent of Twins. ok this is where POT comes from.
story of POT.
Well one day I was watching TV and heard about the Twins Fest in Twinsburg
Ohio. So I took my red-headed twins to it. That was in 2000. We loved it.
As I was sitting checking out the twins, (and they where some twins) I
thought up this joke.
One day I decided to get together some people together that were parents of
twins at my house to start a group of parents of twins. I had made up a
list of what I wanted to have on the flyer and took it to the print shop.
After he read it he told me the price. Well being a parent of twins I knew
that I could not afford the price he quoted me. I told him to shorten it
and we agreed on a price.
On the original list I wanted him to put as title PARENTS OF TWINS MEETING.
Basically I was going to have it at my house and had directions to my house
and that a local company had donated free sample gifts and the gifts where a
first come first serve type of deal.
Two weeks later I drove through town as the meeting was to begin at 7 and it
was 4. The streets where packed with cars everywhere... Being a fire
fighter also I never seen this many cars at one place in my town since it
almost burned down.
As I got closer I saw this young man handing out flyers.... it read:
FREE SAMPLES TO FIRST TO ARRIVE
WHITE HOUSE ON NORTH STREET AND 2ND STREET
OK so it ain't that funny... but I have gotten a few laughs from it.
Reason I actually emailed ya... have you ever considered taken your kids to
the Twinsfest in Twinsburg Ohio... The Mecca of twins. It is amazing all
the twins that show up... When we went in 2000 there was over 2700 set of
twins that registered. We also went in 2001.
You gotta take your boys there. They will have a great time.
Til then... Jerry D. Mason
August 8, 2004
How To Stop Diarrhea
This Is What My Funeral Will Look Like!
God, I love tan lines!
Shortarmguy Loves The Big Girls
Them's Some Big Burgers You Have There!
August 1, 2004
Warning!! Nudity Alert!!
Normally, I won't show this level of nudity on my site, but I found this one so clever, I had to include it on this week's update. Shortarmguy has a new internet friend by the name of "Pert Moody Newt" and he's quite creative. He emailed me these two pictures and I thought they were pretty neat and maybe just a tad bit twisted!
Mr. Newt has a Prank Phone Call Website and you can see it by clicking on the bug below...
It looks like Jenna Bush is getting ready to do something a little bit twisted herself in this photo...
How To Spot A Rich Guy!
Truth In Advertising
Tiger Woods Has Quite The Life! Look At His Personal Driving Range!
It's a helicopter landing pad 1000ft up a Dubai hotel.
Woods teed-off two-thirds of the way up the Burj Al Arab Hotel.
He was taking some time out of preparing for the Dubai Desert Classic event.
The seven-star hotel is higher than the Eiffel Tower and is built on a man-made island. Woods hit the balls into the Arabian Gulf below.
Nice Email Of The Week
Recently I was introduced to your web-site by my brother and his friend. We truly get a kick out of it! Well today I read "The Legend of ShortArmGuy" and let me just say, I laughed my ass off. I especially liked your explanation to kids who asked what happened. And your response to the old lady in the McDonalds parking lot, was a kodak moment. You truly are an inspiration to others. We need more people like you. Keep up the good work!
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