Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails
On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day. So email firstname.lastname@example.org the best stuff you get. I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get. Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people. So no more damn copyright lawsuits!
Warning! Adult Material Below!
October 31, 2004
Does This Turn You On?
If You Said Yes, You're Going To Prison!!
If You Wake Up Like This, It Might Be Time To Quit Drinking!!
Deposits Are Great, The Withdrawals Are A Little Gross, Though.
Options For Those Who Think Piercing Their Tongues Just Isn't Wild Enough
Don't Forget To Vote On November 2nd!!
This Guy Was Very Dedicated To His Candidate!
Bush Campaign Buttons
Happy Halloween, 2004!
For More Funny
October 24, 2004
The Packers Fans Are Getting Desperate!!
I don't think this guy is going to win any Husband Of The Year Awards!!
A Safe and Fun Way To Use Your Child To Feed The Animals
I Want To Go Back Up, Right?
Honey, we're only going to be on vacation for a week!
So They're Allowed Behind The Point In October?
Pass The Ketchup!
Costume Of The Year --- Would You Care For Some Wine?
October 17, 2004
Shortarmguy's Old Buddy, Ron "Sugarman" Myers spent something like 13 hours stalking Lance Armstong in order to get this picture. Myers learned that the reigning Tour de France Champion was going to be riding his bike through North Iowa on his Tour Of Hope ride, so he drove around frantically until he found him. We're expecting Mr. Armstrong to file for a restraining order against Ron very soon.
George Bush's Note From The First Debate
I think Florida is a bit tired of all the hurricanes!!
Curious if this one is true or not...
This Always Happens To Me When I Drink Jalapeño Juice!
It's Really Hard To Argue With Logic Like This!
For some reason, GrandmasDenimThongs.com just isn't making that many sales.
October 11, 2004
Shortarmguy's Funny Co-Workers are attacking his bald spot again!
Donald Trump's Dog
A CAT AND MOOSE STORY.....
One dumb or very brave cat.
A man from Anchorage, Alaska, named Bill took this picture in his
He noticed the moose eating his bushes as he looked out his front window, then got his camera to take a picture.
Fluffy, an indoor cat, had also been watching it, and when Bill opened the front door, Fluffy darted out to see the moose.
The moose quickly came over to the cat, and Bill thought he was going to trample Fluffy, but instead they touched noses! And Bill got the picture!
I gotta get me some of these balloons!!!
A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says,
"Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really
rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll have a two bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
The guy says, "You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker says, "Well Yeah, but you started it!"
Kid, I'm Feeling Your Pain!
Fun Things To Do With Your Passed Out Buddies!
Buy The Movie Aladdin! Just click the picture...
October 3, 2004
I think Mellissa's unborn baby may have more to worry about then the sound of jackhammers...
Another Reason To Look Forward To The Last Day Of School
Remember when parents used to get freaked out about long hair?
Buy The Movie Fahrenheit 9/11! Just click the picture...
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