Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails
On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day. So email firstname.lastname@example.org the best stuff you get. I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get. Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people. So no more damn copyright lawsuits!
Warning! Adult Material Below!
November 28, 2004
Congrats To Dr. Rice For Her New Job As Secretary Of State!
On November 16th, Shortarmguy and JJ Fad Went To A Timberwolves Game...
We Watched Last Year's MVP, Kevin Garnett, whoop the pants off Shaquille O'Neal's new team...
And We Ended Up Partying With Former Governor Jessie Ventura! Check out those eyes!
Then we rode our motorcycles home....
I don't care! I ain't moving a Damned Muscle. You take care of it!!
Best Wedding Cake Ever!
Shortarmguy at his day job...hosting a seminar on Media Center PC's.
The New State Quarters
November 21, 2004
My New Favorite Team
All right, son. Let me show you how to do this one more time...
I have a feeling this is an All You Can Eat Restaurant!
Holy Crap Moments!!
November 14, 2004
This pretty much sums it up!
Lucky for John, he can always fall back on his football career!
Barbara Bush Always Gets Excited When Dick Cheney Is Speaking!!
Shortarmguy and Sharpton in 2008!!!
Deer Season Opens With A Bit Of A Twist This Year!!
Is that a really big snake that you found or are you just excited to see me?
The Firemen Always Go After The Big Prizes!
It Must Be Safer To Wear It This Way....
Nice Email Of The Week
November 7, 2004
Thank God We're Almost Done With This Election Insanity!!
I'll Bet They Don't Play This Game At The Mensa Club Meetings!
The game is Flaming Asshole!
The rules of the game are simple.
1. Hold a beer in one hand.
2. Place long piece of toilet paper in crack of ass.
3. Light it on fire.
4. Drink Beer Before fire hits ass
My Butt Hasn't Hurt Like That Since I Used The Toilet Scraper!
Now That's What I Call A Happy Meal!!
Warning! These Pants May Make It Difficult To Ever Poop Again!!
Winner For Most Tasteless Halloween Costumes For 2004
Hey shortarmguy! Got some really cool pictures for you.
These pictures are of a diesel truck that went a little to fast merging on
another interstate in the middle of downtown birmingham. It caught fire
and literally torched the bridge above it. It shut down the northbound
lanes that go over the bridge and has to be completely destroyed and built
again. An important note is that the southbound lane of this interstate
runs underneath this bridge so only one lane of traffic is open. This
interstate is a major artery to Birmingham so its like LA traffic all the time.
This is the second time in two years that a truck has destroyed a major bridge
in Birmingham. The other bridge was no more than a 1/10 mile from this
one. Also another side note is the driver did manage to survive but don't
know for how long if some angry motorist finds out where he lives. Hope
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