Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails

On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day.  So email shortarmguy@aol.com the best stuff you get.  I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get.  Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people.  So no more damn copyright lawsuits! 

Warning!  Adult Material Below!

 

February 27, 2005

Michael Jackson Deciding What To Wear To Court

Porn For The Blind

I Always Knew Cigarettes Were Dirty!

Talk About Bad Ad Placement!

My Favorite Brand Of Coffee!

Why Flooding Can Be Especially Dangerous!

This Product Is Very Popular With People Who Are Just Tired Of Having A Cat!!

McMoose

This Photo Isn't Really Funny Or Crazy, But I Still Found It Interesting.

I thought this picture of Luke and Avery at the Minnesota Zoo was kind of cute, but I may be a little biased!

February 20, 2005

Shortarmguy's Clever Co-workers are at it again claiming this is my toothpaste.

One of them drives a Dodge Truck, so this is a bit of a payback...

The Wonders Of Makeup

This crocodile was on the beach in front of the Petroleum club, Plage Sportive in Pointe Noire,  Republic of Congo  (21 Foot Long, 4,500 lbs, around 80 years old minimum ).

Specialists said that he was looking to eat humans because he was too old to catch animals.      For the past few months in some villages close to Pointe Noire people were complaining that some people in their villages have been disappearing, could be this crocodile?

Talk About Parallel Parking!

Cracks  Found On Military Helicopter Blades.

This stuff scares me.  Where is the quality control for these things?

This image is of cracks found during routine inspections of the Kaman Aerospace SH-2 Seasprite helicopter.   Pilots  and crew of these helicopters were seriously alarmed (and rightly so)  when this information was released.

They were especially concerned  because the cracks weren't found in just  one location - they were all  over the craft.

Weekend At The Vatican!

ya know summer's coming when the girls start showin' their belly buttons

Nice Email Of The Week

Sojan is a friend of Shortarmguy from India.  We traded several emails this week regarding the launch of his new website called:

CBRAINS.com

This is an excerpt from one of Sojan's emails:

I am very happy to get mail from u.  And I like to say thanks to u coz one of my inspiration to make this site was u, from last one and half years only I started to watching funny and good mails before that I was not interested on these mails and even I dont have mutch time to check these stuff also. After watching ur site I desided that me also want a site like my own style and that is cbrains.com.

I want to say one more thing is Creative Brains is now only in the site not in the reality coz I closed my designing shop in India. and now i am working in Dubai. 

And Mr. shortarmguy I like to say that u have a very good Creative sence to make new thing.  And I hope that I can see some new stuff from ur Brain in few weeks.

Sojan is a very talented designer as you can see from a couple of his pictures below:

Nice Email Of The Week # 2

Hi, Todd!  Doubt you remember me, I went to high school with you in Clear Lake !  I was a freshman when you were a scary senior! J  Just saw your site because I saw someone mention the link on your site when they googled Pauls name!   I had to check it out!  I had also read your posting a while ago and you had hinted to going through a lot with your kids!  I had no idea!  Your boys are truly beautiful!  What a family!  Im so sorry for the heartache you two had to experience I can really only imagine!  Youd do anything to spare your babies of even the smallest harm, and when their lives are outside of your control what fear you have to feel!  You guys are such a picture of strength its wonderful to see and an inspiration to so many!  Anyway, sorry to ramble, I just wanted you to know that your story was amazingly touching and you are still wonderfully goofy!  How can such an enormous personality fit in one person!?!?  BAFFLING! J  I think I met Sheri once quickly in Younkers and she was also very friendly Im sure you two make quite the pair!  Together you two will arm your children with everything they need to conquer any hurdle in life and become the star of the show themselves!  Even somewhat of a stranger can see that!  They are beautiful boys!  I seem to still have a bit of trouble knowing whether or not youre being serious on some parts of your site!  Keeping people guessing is a good thing, right?!?!?  You guys all take care and keep loving each other like crazy!  Thanks for your site!  - Karla

 

 

February 13, 2005

Locked horns in Oregon

I am forwarding these phenomenal shots of a live and a dead deer with locked horns in Oregon . They shot the horn off the dead deer with a pistol to free the live one. The live one started to walk off but suddenly came back to give the dead one some more of his medicine!

As we age, our priorities change ....... The other day I came home and was greeted by my wife, dressed only in very sexy underwear and holding a couple of short velvet ropes. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." 

So, I tied her up and went ice fishing.

Why you shouldn't park by the water during Winter!!

We've Had A Pretty Mellow Winter In Minnesota!

I Like Hanging Out At Nun Bars!

Now that's Slalom Skiing!!!

Trees Hate Me!

I Think You're Putting That On The Wrong Bumper.

Yeah!  And Send Me Some Money Too!!

Nice Email Of The Week

Love the story about you on your site about your arms and your difficulties and turning them around into better things.........

You know even people without a dissability that u can not see....doesnt mean they dont have a dissability in other areas.....

Mine is being real shy and not sticky up for myself....kinda wish I had short arms to be like you.......people stare at me too,,,guess they like my looks , so they say....but I hate it...I hate people starring at me...   See if I talk to a guy they think they are going to get a date and geeeeeeez I am married....

So see we all got it.....just different ways,,,,,

So remember everyone has or does not have  something for a reason....

Kathie...............p.s. Keep up the good work,,,,,,,,,

 

 

February 6, 2005

I'm pretty sure I'll never witness this in my lifetime...

According To The New York Post, this is one of the most popular selling prom dresses at a store in Manhattan.   I hope they're selling matching jackets because it looks darn cold to me.

A lady found this fawn under her step (they think the doe might have been hit by a car)... her Ridge Back dog is helping look after it. The family named the fawn Bella. Once she has regained her strength (she was not in good shape when the family found her) they are going to send her to some friends who (in the past) raised two orphan deer and released them to the wild. Right now she is being bottle fed. Their dog (Hogan) has basically taken over. The fawn even shares his bed.
Scroll down for great pictures.

February 3, 2005

I received an email from goldenbear@shaw.ca with the threatening subject line of Copyright Infringement and the following message:

Please acknowledge Photographer/owner Jennifer Aftanas and website www.miradorrhodesians.com

 
Thanks

Please go to Jennifer's website and tell her she's doing a phenomenal job of policing the internet.  I'm certain I would have been liable for millions and millions of dollars had I not rushed to acknowledge the source of these photos per her request...

Could you imagine the headlines?  Shortarmguy vs the lady who saved the little deer!   Things would have become quite messy I'm sure had I not rushed to give credit to the hero of the fawns!  

Lucky for me, since I posted these pictures my site traffic has jumped by a factor of 100 and the revenue I'm now generating from my ads and merchandise sales are going to allow me to fulfill my dreams of early retirement!!  I'm getting rich as hell from these pictures and all I have to do is acknowledge her and her website?  Done!!

Which is why I'm now driving his car...

The US Postal Service has created a stamp with a picture of Senator Hillary Clinton to honor her achievements as the First Lady of our nation.  In daily use it was shown that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes.

This enraged Senator Clinton, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing, a special commission made the following findings:

*The stamp was in perfect order

*There was nothing wrong with the applied adhesive

*People were spitting on the wrong side.

 

 

Crazy Email Archives

January, 2005

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