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Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails
On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day. So email shortarmguy@aol.com the best stuff you get. I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get. Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people. So no more damn copyright lawsuits!
Warning! Adult Material Below!
February 27, 2005
Michael Jackson Deciding What To Wear To Court
Porn For The Blind
I Always Knew Cigarettes Were Dirty!
Talk About Bad Ad Placement!
My Favorite Brand Of Coffee!
Why Flooding Can Be Especially Dangerous!
This Product Is Very Popular With People Who Are Just Tired Of Having A Cat!!
McMoose
This Photo Isn't Really Funny Or Crazy, But I Still Found It Interesting.
I thought this picture of Luke and Avery at the Minnesota Zoo was kind of cute, but I may be a little biased!
February 20, 2005
Shortarmguy's Clever Co-workers are at it again claiming this is my toothpaste.
One of them drives a Dodge Truck, so this is a bit of a payback...
The Wonders Of Makeup
This
crocodile was on the beach in front of the Petroleum club, Plage Sportive in
Pointe Noire,
Specialists
said that he was looking to eat humans because he was too old to catch
animals.
Talk About Parallel Parking!
Cracks Found On Military Helicopter Blades.
This
stuff scares me. Where is the quality control for these things?
This image is of cracks found during routine inspections of the Kaman Aerospace
SH-2 Seasprite helicopter. Pilots and crew of
these helicopters were seriously alarmed (and rightly so) when this
information was released.
They were especially concerned because the cracks weren't found in just
one location - they were all over the craft.
Weekend At The Vatican!
ya know summer's coming when the girls start showin' their belly buttons
Nice Email Of The Week
Sojan is a friend of Shortarmguy from India. We traded several emails this week regarding the launch of his new website called:
This is an excerpt from one of Sojan's emails:
I am very happy to get mail from u.
And I like to say thanks to u coz one of my inspiration to make this
site was u, from last one and half years only I started to watching funny and
good mails before that I was not interested on these mails and even I dont
have mutch time to check these stuff also. After watching ur site I desided
that me also want a site like my own style and that is cbrains.com.
I want to say one more thing is Creative Brains is now only in the site not in
the reality coz I closed my designing shop in India. and now i am working in
Dubai.
And Mr. shortarmguy I like to say that u have a very good Creative sence to
make new thing. And I hope that I can see some new stuff from ur Brain
in few weeks.
Sojan is a very talented designer as you can see from a couple of his pictures
below:
Nice Email Of The Week # 2
Hi,
Todd! Doubt you remember me, I went to high school with you in
February 13, 2005
Locked horns in
I am forwarding these phenomenal shots of a live
and a dead deer with locked horns in
As we age, our priorities change ....... The other day I came home and was greeted by my wife, dressed only in very sexy underwear and holding a couple of short velvet ropes. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So, I tied her up and went ice fishing.
Why you shouldn't park by the water during Winter!!
We've Had A Pretty Mellow Winter In Minnesota!
I Like Hanging Out At Nun Bars!
Now that's Slalom Skiing!!!
Trees Hate Me!
I Think You're Putting That On The Wrong Bumper.
Yeah! And Send Me Some Money Too!!
Nice Email Of The Week
You know even people without a dissability that u can not see....doesnt mean they dont have a dissability in other areas.....
Mine is being real shy and not sticky up for myself....kinda wish I had short arms to be like you.......people stare at me too,,,guess they like my looks , so they say....but I hate it...I hate people starring at me... See if I talk to a guy they think they are going to get a date and geeeeeeez I am married....
So see we all got it.....just different ways,,,,,
So remember everyone has or does not have something for a reason....
Kathie...............p.s. Keep up the good work,,,,,,,,,
February 6, 2005
I'm pretty sure I'll never witness this in my lifetime...
According To The New York Post, this is one of the most popular selling prom dresses at a store in Manhattan. I hope they're selling matching jackets because it looks darn cold to me.
A lady found this fawn under
her step (they think the doe might have been hit by a car)... her Ridge Back
dog is helping look after it. The family named the fawn Bella. Once she has
regained her strength (she was not in good shape when the family found her)
they are going to send her to some friends who (in the past) raised two orphan
deer and released them to the wild. Right now she is being bottle fed. Their
dog (Hogan) has basically taken over. The fawn even shares his bed.
Scroll down for great pictures.
I received an email from goldenbear@shaw.ca with the threatening subject line of Copyright Infringement and the following message:
Please acknowledge Photographer/owner Jennifer Aftanas and website www.miradorrhodesians.com
Please go to Jennifer's website and tell her she's doing a phenomenal job of policing the internet. I'm certain I would have been liable for millions and millions of dollars had I not rushed to acknowledge the source of these photos per her request...
Could you imagine the headlines? Shortarmguy vs the lady who saved the little deer! Things would have become quite messy I'm sure had I not rushed to give credit to the hero of the fawns!
Lucky for me, since I posted these pictures my site traffic has jumped by a factor of 100 and the revenue I'm now generating from my ads and merchandise sales are going to allow me to fulfill my dreams of early retirement!! I'm getting rich as hell from these pictures and all I have to do is acknowledge her and her website? Done!!
Which is why I'm now driving his car...
The US Postal Service has created a stamp with a picture of Senator Hillary Clinton to honor her achievements as the First Lady of our nation. In daily use it was shown that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes.
This
enraged Senator Clinton, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of
testing, a special commission made the following findings:
*The
stamp was in perfect order
*There was nothing wrong with the applied adhesive
*People were spitting on the wrong side.
Crazy Email Archives
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Email me at shortarmguy@aol.com.
Copyright © 2005 by Swank! Productions --- All rights reserved