Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails
On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day. So email firstname.lastname@example.org the best stuff you get. I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get. Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people. So no more damn copyright lawsuits!
Warning! Adult Material Below!
August 29, 2005
Northwest Airlines has a great backup plan to deal with the striking mechanics!
Are you offering or requesting?
Ummmmm...Maybe we shouldn't tease Rafael Palmeiro about his steroid use while he's up to bat!
How To Tell If You're Poor...
Free BBQ Grill
are in luck!! If you are a
redneck and you
need a new Grill, here
is a bargain for you.
Stainless steel grill, for FREE! You read right, FREE!!!
Available in all the following stores
K-Mart, Albertsons, Krogers, Tom Thumb, A&P
Hurry before they run out of stock!
Suddenly, A&W has seen sales go through the roof!
DON'T KEEP PRESSURIZED CANS IN YOUR CAR
Do you keep WD-40, hair spray, Off, Fix-A-Flat, etc., in your vehicle?
If so, you might want to reconsider. The picture below is of a pressurized can that exploded in a person's vehicle and imbedded itself in the back seat of the car. The temperature outside of the closed up vehicle was about 100 degrees F.
The incident pictured next happened at a refinery in Beaumont. A
deodorant spray can was left in the back of the vehicle that was parked in an
open space in the middle of a hot, sunny day. Without warning, the can exploded
inside the car. Fortunately, no one was inside or near the car when it happened.
Nice Email Of The Week
Nice Email Of The Week # 2
Hey Todd, I've enjoyed your website since I discovered it and what impresses me most is the fact that you don't allow society's screwed up stigmas about handicapped folks (or whatever PC term we're supposed to use now.)
way to go!
August 21, 2005
Shortarmguy's Co-Worker, Sean Quinlan spent the past week at Bike Week in Sturgis, South Dakota.
He called during work the other day and said to check out the webcam at One Eyed Jack's Saloon.
Shortarmguy told Sean to go up to the big guy directly behind him and smack him in the back of the head, but he wouldn't do it.
When we told him to grab a girl to pose on the camera with however, he was more than happy to oblige.
Sean took these pictures of a couple of his buddies he rode out there with...
And one buddy he met on the road...
How To Tell You're At A Gay Bar
Where baby saw horses come from...
August 14, 2005
Hey, you can't prove he was drunk while he was driving.
Redneck Dental Care
This is an old one, but it still makes me giggle...
August 6, 2005
What A Convenient Place To Put The M, You Old Devils at Time Magazine!
Sales at Dairy Queen shot up by 500% after changing their sign!
It's A Gimme!
Sent By Shortarmguy Stalker Steve "Cuds" Cuddihy
that's gonna leave a mark!
USA's Chelsea Davis hits her head on the board during a preliminary round in the women's three-meter springboard diving competition at the World Aquatics Championships Friday, July 22, 2005 in Montreal. Davis required stitches after hitting her head. (AP Photo/Ryan Remiorz)
Best Bra Ever!
Don't worry, Dad! This will be simple...
Not tonight, honey. I've just got too much work to do...
I want a Hog Car!
If you have a little
in your right
hand and a little green ball in your left hand...
What do you have???
KERMIT'S FULL ATTENTION
Nice Email Of The Week
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