Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails

On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day.  So email shortarmguy@aol.com the best stuff you get.  I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get.  Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people.  So no more damn copyright lawsuits! 

Warning!  Adult Material Below!

August 29, 2005

Northwest Airlines has a great backup plan to deal with the striking mechanics!

Are you offering or requesting?

Ummmmm...Maybe we shouldn't tease Rafael Palmeiro about his steroid use while he's up to bat!

How To Tell If You're Poor...

Free BBQ Grill

 You are in luck!!  If you are a redneck and you need a new Grill, here is a bargain for you.
 
Stainless steel grill, for  FREE!  You read right, FREE!!!
 
Available in all the following stores   

 Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Albertsons, Krogers, Tom Thumb,  A&P &  Walgreens.
 
Hurry before they run out of stock!

Suddenly, A&W has seen sales go through the roof!

DON'T KEEP PRESSURIZED CANS IN YOUR CAR

 Do you keep WD-40, hair spray, Off, Fix-A-Flat, etc., in your vehicle?

If so, you might want to reconsider. The picture below is of a pressurized can that exploded in a person's vehicle and imbedded itself in the back seat of  the car. The temperature outside of the closed up vehicle was about 100 degrees F.

The incident pictured next happened at a refinery in Beaumont. A deodorant spray can was left in the back of the vehicle that was parked in an open space in the middle of a hot, sunny day. Without warning, the can exploded inside the car. Fortunately, no one was inside or near the car when it happened.
 

Hangin' Gator

Nice Email Of The Week

Hello Todd,
 
My name is Yousuf Bhatti. I am an Indian Muslim staying in Bahrain.
 
Just happened to come across your site a couple of days back and am addicted to it. Today I came across the pages in which both your children have gone thru heart operations and your younger one has gone through a Thumb operation.
 
I would just like to say that I admire your Faith and Patience. You seem like you are a very fun loving guy and have accepted God's gift of life to us and have accepted everything in a very Positive state of mind. I salute you for that buddy.
 
I know it's easy writing things like this from the other side, I don't know what I'd do or how I'd react if something (God Forbid) happens to us but you are really an Inspiration to others and all I'd like to tell you is "KEEP THE FAITH" and make sure you always keep inspiring others too.
 
You are a HERO.
 
Nice knowing you.
 
Best of luck,
 
Yousuf

Nice Email Of The Week # 2

Hey Todd, I've enjoyed your website since I discovered it and what impresses me most is the fact that you don't allow society's screwed up stigmas about handicapped folks (or whatever PC term we're supposed to use now.)

way to go!

Dave

 

August 21, 2005

Shortarmguy's Co-Worker, Sean Quinlan spent the past week at Bike Week in Sturgis, South Dakota.

He called during work the other day and said to check out the webcam at One Eyed Jack's Saloon. 

Shortarmguy told Sean to go up to the big guy directly behind him and smack him in the back of the head, but he wouldn't do it.

When we told him to grab a girl to pose on the camera with however, he was more than happy to oblige.

Sean took these pictures of a couple of his buddies he rode out there with...

And one buddy he met on the road...

How To Tell You're At A Gay Bar

Where baby saw horses come from...

August 14, 2005

I'm convinced.

Hey, you can't prove he was drunk while he was driving.

Redneck Dental Care

True Romance

Fun Toons

This is an old one, but it still makes me giggle...

August 6, 2005

What A Convenient Place To Put The M, You Old Devils at Time Magazine!

Sales at Dairy Queen shot up by 500% after changing their sign!

It's A Gimme!

Sent By Shortarmguy Stalker Steve "Cuds" Cuddihy

that's gonna leave a mark!

USA's Chelsea Davis hits her head on the board during a preliminary round in the women's three-meter springboard diving competition at the World Aquatics Championships Friday, July 22, 2005 in Montreal. Davis required stitches after hitting her head. (AP Photo/Ryan Remiorz)

Best Bra Ever!

Don't worry, Dad!  This will be simple...

Not tonight, honey.  I've just got too much work to do...

I want a Hog Car!

If you have a little green ball in your right
hand and a little
green ball in your left hand...
 

What do you have???    

KERMIT'S FULL ATTENTION
 

Nice Email Of The Week

im not disabled in anyway but you inspire me to respect what i do have inspire others too, you and green day rock!!
 
jessica - brighton - england - britan :D

 

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Crazy Email Archives

July, 2005

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