Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails

On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day.  So email shortarmguy@aol.com the best stuff you get.  I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get.  Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people.  So no more damn copyright lawsuits! 

 

Warning!  Adult Material Below!

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February 26, 2006

A special Thank You To Vice President Dick Cheney for helping fill my inbox with a bunch of new humorous emails!

This is a picture of Niagara Falls completely frozen in 1911

More Banned Children's Books

Nice Emails Of The Week

Todd,
 
Don't know if you remember me but I looked at your site last night and thought it was amazing.  I don't know how you do it.  Keep up the great work and thanks for not putting me on the "enemies" list!
 
Take Care,
 
Mike

Hi,

I just read your prayer request from Sandy and wanted to let you know that I will keep your Dad in my prayers. 

A friend sent me to your site and you are such an inspiration!!!

Love Dottie

Hey shortarmguy!  You may remember me from a few years ago, I sent you the picture of the Rhino with a huge erection!  Anyway,
I haven't had many good posts for you lately, but a fraternity brother of mine has made a great video about making beer.  You
should go to beerjuggs.com and check it out.  If you can, let others know about it!

Also, check out Karimaweb.com for high resolution pictures of the new Tomb Raider chick, Karima Adebibe.  Please link Karimaweb, we're all trying to make a buck, aren't we?

Jeremy Overton

hey shortarmguy, as you know i live in FL and my friend went to biloxi MS after Hurricane Katrina and got these shots. 

Have a lovely weekend!

 

Denise

 

Joke Of The Week

Mick walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."

The man says: " I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."

February 19, 2006

I Love The Winter Olympics!!!

This Valentine's Day...

How can you not love a baby elephant?

That's a heck of a deal for that kind of a smell!

I think they'll finally get the message!

All right, fellas.  We need to have a discussion about positive attitudes.

Half cat.  Half giraffe.

Sneaky Ronald.

Nice Email Of The Week

Hi Shortarmguy,

I like your site, especialy mpg. hahaha

 
If you find time, please send me replay...
 
Greetings from Poland
 
Coriin

Joke Of The Week

The Blonde Joke to End All Blonde Jokes

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" 

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says,

"Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup  of tea, and then . . ," he sighed . .  

". . . let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

 

This is Something You And Your Valentine will love!!

 

 

February 12, 2006

Excellent Condom Ad

Yoga in India

Yoga in Mexico

Bad day to be a mouse.

Ummmm.....you type better than you look.

Toys that didn't quite make it to market!

 

Nice Emails Of The Week

Hi Todd,

You have a really funny site.

Like I said in my subject line my son has club foot.  It makes him run and walk funny, but it doesn't bother him at all except for the fact
that his right shoe comes off easily.  He is also fairly short and gets called names all the time about it.  Like you he is very bright, because of that I can't wait to show him your site (of course with some adult supervision since he's only 11).

I have just one short story about the shock value of having a slight handicap that he has.  My neighbor was outside with his toddler when Ryan and I were goofing off kicking a football around.  He took a nice kick at it and his shoe went higher than the football.  My neighbor was laughing hard (no malice because he didn't even know) at this and kidded Ryan about it.

Ryan told him that happens all the time because of his club foot.  I thought my neighbor was going to die of shame on the spot.  Ryan was only 9 years old at the time and said it in such a matter of fact manner that the impact was ironically even worse.

Best regards,

Bill

Hey mate!  love your site was looking for movies to download and 99.99% of  what i have are from your site.  im in Australia and i know a few people who frequently visit your site your a world wide craze. I was just wondering  though this new program you have for the clips wont let me save any i can only view them do i need to get another program so i can download them?
Anywho keep up the GOOD work your a legend.

Craigo....... :-)

Thought u might like some of the pictures from REALITY FOREST ( but for a tamer audience ) not saying you have to post them but it might gimme a thrill.
 
Here's my cat, Seb. He's the type of cat that loves attention so tossing the doll on him just made him purrr like a maniac. 
He loved every second of it.

 

I'm here in Windsor where all the superbowl (extra large) action is. I'll try and get some pix of some of the action down here for you. Already sent you the american lookin for hookers pic. I'm sure more to come
 
 Jay

Jay is a friend of Shortarmguy from Windsor, Canada which is within spitting distance of tonight's Super Bowl.

Jay is the creator of an "Email Soap Opera" called Reality Forest.  Following are some pictures from recent episodes.  If you'd like to receive episodes from Jay, send him an email at: jaybanx@mnsi.net

Some of you might remember this Favorite Link from last week's update

Personal Identity --- It looks like a college student in Canada is writing a paper about me.  I'm guessing she gets an A+ because the topic is so fascinating!!

Well, Krazy Kory was a little upset because he didn't think this girl knew what Shortarmguy.com was all about. 

I hope none of my good friends in Canada are offended by his email!

Shortarmguy,

 
I gotta tell you how messed up I think some of those Canadians are especially the one named Sumran the college student. 

Sumran, you don't have a clue how to write a paper...I thought research is the key element in writing college papers...you ought to try it sometime.  Don't get me wrong, you are way hot and probably having a good time in college, but try going to class once in a while to LEARN how to write a paper.  If you had any clue at all you would have realized that Shortarmguy is just trying to be funny and wanted to share his story...that is it!!!  I would like to give you credit that your theory was probable at best to start, and that you maybe hypothesized accurately that there are some weirdos pretending to be something other than themselves online...but you wrote one half-assed paper!!  Good luck graduating.

 
If you're in Iowa, give me a call!!

Krazy Kory

Joke Of The Week

 Friendship Between Women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.


Friendship Between Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

February 5, 2006

Crack Kills

The most popular car in Florida!

This is really sad...

Creative Expressions

Nice Emails Of The Week

Hey There!  Found your site for the 1st time today while searching Google for something else entirely.  Have now been looking at all your great stuff for about 2 hours now!  Indisputably one of the BEST sites I've come across, great pix, great jokes.  Please, please, please put me on your mailing list!  I'm very good at begging but the way I beg might just be too much for your website! 
 
Joyce

I was searching on google for crazy emails and I found you..... I love this and I'm forwarding your website to everyone I know!!! 

YOU ROCK!!!

Yo shortarmguy, me and my m8 made a kl video of the simpsons. Its funny so could u plz put it on ur website, that would make my day.

Dave

 

Hello shortarmguy
i have attached a video file i have made of a commercial aired on Australian television in about 2000-2001
i thought this might make a nice contribution to your collection of funny videos and commercials
i hope you enjoy it
Brian
P.S i am sorry about the quality of the video i live in a area of bad reception

 

Joke Of The Week

I recently picked a new primary care physician.

 After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

 A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,

"Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

 He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?"

 "Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either."

 Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

 I said, "No, my other Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

 "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

 "No, I don't," I said.

 He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

 No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

 He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit?"

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Crazy Email Archives

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