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Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails
On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day. So email shortarmguy@aol.com the best stuff you get. I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get. Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people. So no more damn copyright lawsuits!
Warning! Adult Material Below!
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May 29, 2006
Politicians In Drag
Kids, please don't take candy from this man!
Joke Of The Week
THE LONELY BRAIN CELL
Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head.
She looked around
nervously because it was all empty and quiet.
"Hello?" she cried, but no answer. "Is there anyone
here?"
she cried a little louder, but still no answer.
Now the female brain
cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her
voice,
"HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"
Then she heard a faint voice from far, far away..............
"We're down here ..."
Nice Emails Of The Week
Thanks for the photo op!
Anyway, I'm the nurse in the picture. Your dad got to go home tonight and was very happy. Your website is great!
Amanda Sterling,RN
smiles from a Short Arm Girl Hi Todd:
Thank you so much for your site! I've been surfing the net for info regarding
Holt Oram syndrome on the net and have found way too many medical sites. It
was so nice to see such great family photos. I was born with what is most
likely Holt-Oram and just gave birth to my daughter in February who is showing
signs of Holt Oram as well. We are a waiting open heart surgery to be
scheduled to fix her large VSD. I just wanted to know that you have a
beautiful family. Thanks for sharing.
Stephanie
Shortarmguy,
i have attached a video of a commercial currently on Australian TV
it is very funny and i thought you guys in the US might enjoy it as well
i hope it makes it on your site
Brian
Hi Shortarmguy
Sorry me and dave havnt made any vids lately but he is one that we made about
the A Team we have sent it to some of are m8s and they thought is was funny.
Its a bit different to other vids we have made but we hope you like it :)
:)
Ryan
May 21, 2006
Tough To Beat This Haircut!
Bad News! The Bird Flu hit a trailer park in Southern Florida!
The Ass Family
New Highway Signs Symbolizing Gas Stations
First Photo of the Trapped Miners
If Gas Prices Keep Rising
May 14, 2006
For most of Shortarmguy's Career, no-one has ever heard of where I work since I've always been in computer distribution selling and marketing to computer resellers. That's about to change for anyone living in the Twin Cities. We're creating a brand new end user branding campaign for our Voyageur PC line of computer systems. It's going to be huge!! Staring next week, we'll have 160 billboards like the following all over Minneapolis and St. Paul. The billboards were designed by Shortarmguy's old podcasting partner, The Dude! I think he did a great job!
Where's Willy Wonka when you need him?
How to know when you might have had one too many!
This Sturgeon was caught on the Willamette River just below Oregon City two weeks ago. It weighed out at over 1,000 lbs and measured out at 11'1". It was 56" around the girth and took over 6 and a half hours and 4 dozen beers for the 4 guys taking turns reeling.
The most accurate gas gauge designed.
My kind of wedding reception!
This is a new photo from Yahoo News this week! Same old Bill!
Cute Kitty Tattoo
Scaring pandas is just not a nice thing to do.
Joke Of The Week
A blonde woman
was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a
woman police officer who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.
She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
" What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and
handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
Nice Email Of The Week
Yo man, been a fan of the site for about a year now, so here's a picture for the emails.
May 7, 2006
Swedish Bucks Night
In Sweden it is a bit of a custom for the groom to be kidnapped and whisked off
somewhere for his stag night - these usually last all day
and all night. Rather than the typical English stag night where you all arrange
it beforehand, go out get drunk and hire a stripper, the Swedes do it
differently. The groom has no idea until he gets nabbed. He might be dressed up
in something crazy, and go do something and then the fun starts!
This particular guy is a keen sailor and when he was kidnapped for his stag
night they pasted a false "skippers-beard" on him and put him at the helm of a
60 foot yacht and let him be skipper for the day - much beer and fine food was
consumed. But nothing nasty happened to him at all.
In the evening when they got back on
land and were getting cleaned up for the nightclub, they all had a sauna as is
customary in Sweden.
Imagine the groom's horror when he walked into the sauna where his naked buddies
were waiting for him to see that best mate number one had no hair on his
genitals. Neither did friend two, or three, or four.
OH DEAR!!
Have another look at the beard!!
Kitty Porn
Thanks for the lift!
ShortArmTurtle
All right. I'm going to have a tough time peeing here.
I've been here before...
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Crazy Email Archives
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Feedback for me?
Suggestions for site improvements?
Funny jokes, audio files, video files that I can post here?
Links to inspirational sites?
Naked pictures of yourself or your girlfriend?
Email me at shortarmguy@aol.com.
Copyright © 2006 by Swank! Productions --- All rights reserved