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Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails
Crazy Emails For September 30, 2007
Coffee Head
Happy Dwarves, Sad Dwarves.
Happy Halloween, Dawg.
Bear get stuck.
Bear get scared.
Bear get net from nice men.
Bear fall in net.
Bear get lowered.
Bear Happy!
Here's the real story...
One lucky
Bear!
This bridge is on the Old
Donner Pass Highway. It has spectacular Sierra Views and views of Donner
Lake and Donner Pass on Route 80.
A bear was walking across
Rainbow Bridge (Old Hwy 40 at Donner Summit, Truckee) on Saturday when two
cars also crossing the bridge scared the bear into jumping over the edge
of the bridge. Somehow the bear caught the ledge and was able to pull
itself to safety. Authorities decided that nothing could be done to help
Saturday night so they returned Sunday morning to find the bear sound
asleep on the ledge.
After securing a net under the bridge the bear was tranquilized, fell into
the net, lowered, then woke up and walked out of the net.
Quote of the Week
The future you see is the future you get.
-- Robert G Allen, Business, Finance &
Motivational Author
Joke of the Week
This morning I received a phone call
from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who
called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around. We lost track of
time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy
together.
I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up
and rekindling a little of that "old magic".
"Wow!" I was flabbergasted.
"I don't know if I could keep pace
with you now", I said, "I'm a bit
older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I
don't
really have the energy I used to have."
She just giggled and said she was
sure I would "rise to the challenge".
"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you
don't mind a man with a waistline
that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of
muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I
am
developing jowls like a Great Dane!"
She laughed and told me to stop
being so silly.
She teased me saying that tubby grey
haired older men were cute, and she
was sure I would still be a great lover.
Anyway, she giggled, "I've put on a
few pounds myself!"
So I told her to screw off.
Nice Email of the Week
YOU ROCK AND YOUR SITE ROCKS YOUR
FAMILY RICKS AND NOW I ROCK!
Anne
Hi Todd --- Thought I would
send you a picture of my grandson, Peter (will be 4 in Nov.) ....he
is the one who's face in NOT visible.
I just got this from his mom
and what a daredevil I have in my family! It was taken at Gatorland
and I thought it was funny. (But then i do have a wierd sense of humor)
Your FL friend, Shirley
Crazy Emails For September 23, 2007
If different peopled starred
in Star Wars....
OJ Monopoly
Did you hear about the new OJ SIMPSON Web Site?
It's http://///////
So this bird walks into a
store...
A seagull in Scotland has
developed the habit of stealing chips from a neighborhood shop.
The seagull waits
until the shopkeeper isn't looking, and then walks into the store and
grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos.
Once outside, the
bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.
The seagull's
shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the
store in Aberdeen, Scotland, and helped himself to a bag of chips.
Since then, he's become a regular. He always takes the same type of
chips.
Customers have
begun paying for the seagull's stolen bags of chips because they think
it's so funny.
A WORD TO THE WISE
Dear Friends,
As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is
freedom, in Water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully
controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter
of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than
1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) bacteria found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. However, we do NOT
run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other
liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of
boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and
talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
There is no need to thank me for this
valuable information.
I'm doing it as a public service.
Quote of the Week
"My motto was always
to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having
trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging."
– Hank Aaron,
baseball player
Crazy Emails For September 16, 2007
I don't care what anyone says, she didn't look that bad!
These guys really shouldn't sit next to each other...
Uhhhh....I'm not hungry any more.
Uhhhh....I think it's your turn to take out the trash!
But I'll do your laundry for you!
Ooooohhhh, honey.
Are you sure you want to take me to such a fancy restaurant?
New Patriots Team Logo
Oh, Darn It!
You can pick your friends...
Well, if you insist...
Quote of the Week
~Live
today to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised ~
People will forget what you
said, People will forget what you did,
But people will never forget
how you made them feel
-Marcella
Crazy Emails For September 9, 2007
Senator Craig Bashing
Every Dog Has His Day!
Best Water Temperature Chart I've Ever Seen!
New movie starring the
Chicago Bears' Lance Briggs
Nice Tattoo!
I sure would like to eat this
guy.
Is it Friday yet?
Quote of the Week
"The greatest use of
life is to spend it for something that will outlast it."
– William James,
psychologist
Joke of the Week
A wife is at home when
she suddenly hears a knock on the door. When she opens the door a
man asks her if she has a vagina, the woman slams the door in
disbelief of what a stranger has just asked her.
The same thing happens three
consecutive days and the woman decides to tells her husband. The
husband says to the wife; "Tomorrow I am not going to work and when
the man asks if you have a vagina say yes and I will be hiding
behind the door."
The next day the same
man comes again and when the woman opens the door he asks if she has
the vagina and the woman says yes; the man then said to the woman,
"Good, then please tell your husband to stop screwing my wife."
Crazy Emails For September 2, 2007
Tough luck for Mike Vick!
Karma Sheetra
Moments Before The Massacre!
Cool Tattoos!
Finally my dog can hold my hand when we go for a walk!
Couples
who shouldn't hyphenate their names!
Quote of the Week
"You can’t build a
reputation on what you are going to do."
– Henry Ford,
automaker
Joke of the Week
A man was washed up
on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were
washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were
stranded on a deserted island.
After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two
animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus
clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle -- a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the
lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until
the man took his arm from around the sheep.
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together,
but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck
The only survivor was an incredibly sexy blonde lady.
That evening, the man introduced the new girl to the evening beach
ritual. It was another beautiful evening -- red sky, cirrus clouds, a
warm and gentle breeze -- perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon,
the man started to get "those feelings" again. He fought the urges as
long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to the sexy gal
and cautiously whispered in her ear...
"Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
Nice Emails of the Week
SAG
JUST SO YOU KNOW! SOMETHING I KNOW
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