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Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails

Crazy Emails For October 28, 2007

I guess the only right thing to call him would be "Dickhead"!

Cute Kid!

Dog For Sale:

Answers to the name of Dolly.
FREE to approved home, will eat anything, excellent guard dog.
Loves other small-dog breeds.
Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more kids,
thieves, murderers, rapists or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.
Most of them knew him only as " holy sh*t!! "
Your help will be appreciated..



Where your insurance claims go...

Why it's important to proofread your child's homework...

Marty could never let go of the love of his Big Wheel!

A good sign you're having a bad day...

The happiest alligator I know!


Quote of the Week

"If you want more, you have to require more from yourself."

-- Dr Phil, Motivational Author and Talk Show Host

Joke of the Week

 Cowboy Boots

 A lady went into a bar in Waco, Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she’d ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet are well endowed.

The cowboy grinned and said, “Shore is, little lady. Why don’t you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?”

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.

Blushing, he said, “Well, thankee, ma’am. Ah’m real flattered. Ain’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before.”

“Don’t be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.”


Nice Emails of the Week

Sweet tattoo!! Thanks for all the cool stuff you put on here, my kids and I just love the site. Keep us laughin.........David

Though you are one of the nicest guys I know, I can’t help but be SUPER JEALOUS!  Miami Ink!  Man, it doesn’t get any better than that!

 Take care,


OMG!  i am so jealous.  you know, i am the queen of tattoos, sporting only ten!  (steve hates tattoos) we watch miami ink all the time and one of my wishes is to be tattooed by cat.  now of course, i would have to go to her parlor since she is no longer a part of miami ink.  that must have been so awesome meeting all of the guys.  you are  my hero!


From Miss July

We had a "going away" party yesterday for a lady at our Mpls, claim office.  One of the supervisors called a Walmart superstore and ordered the cake.  
He told them to write:

"Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that write "We will miss you".  
As the picture shows, it didn't quite turn out right.  It was too funny not to keep it.


Happy Halloween, 2007!

Click Here

For More Funny

Halloween Pictures!


Crazy Emails For October 21, 2007

This is going to be a very popular Christmas Item!

Why it might not be a good idea to let the future mother in law buy the wedding invitations...

Not quite motivational posters...

Give me the ball!

Need any help?

Thanks for the seat!


Quote of the Week

"It has been my observation that most people get ahead during the time that others waste time."

-- Henry Ford, Ford Motor Company Founder

Joke of the Week

 A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

 "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document,  and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

 "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

 "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."


Nice Emails of the Week

A quick hello from Pa.
I just wanted to let you know that I work at the Willow Grove Naval Air Station.  I have been showing them your site and everyone LOVES it.
Everyone was blown away with the driving in Iraq clip you had recently.  It was so amazing. It was so true as to what happens over there.
Keep up the GREAT work!



Crazy Emails For October 14, 2007

Hilloween is Coming!

I love peanut butter!

Pile of Crap




Sometimes when you are angry with someone, It helps to sit down, take a moment to cool off and think about the problem

Now that was a mistake....

Now this is just funny!

Another Toy Recall!!

IRS Pencil Sharpener

Quote of the Week

“Anything’s possible. You can be told you have a 90% chance or a 50% chance or a 1% chance, but you have to believe, and you have to fight.”

– Lance Armstrong, cyclist

Joke of the Week


A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly... he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

 "Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own f*&%@* blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.


Nice Emails of the Week

I really enjoy the site.  I check it every week.


Hi there

I would like to join your email list.

I have watched many of you movies and other stuff and thoroughly enjoy them.
A lot of the time it has made my day more interesting.

Thanx in advance for letting me join.

From Australia.

I Got 1 For Ya


Crazy Emails For October 7, 2007

How to get men to wash their hands...

Women are getting wise about perverts and their Upskirt shots!

Wrong way to get off a boat...

Which way do I go?

Tight Fit!

Why the groom can't order the wedding cake...

If pets could blog...

New Halloween Funnies

Click Here

For More Funny

Halloween Pictures!


Quote of the Week

"My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging."

– Hank Aaron, baseball player

Joke of the Week



It was mealtime during an airline flight. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.

"What are my choices?" John asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.


A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."


A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."


The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.


A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
miles. Finally, a police car comes up.

The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."


A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.  I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."


Nice Email of the Week

I took this picture while driving out the back gate at Camp Pendleton…  

Just snapped a pic with my cell phone of a Marine and his pooch…

If this doesn’t say ‘Laid Back’ I don’t know what does….

Mad Doc

Crazy Email Archives

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On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day.  So email the best stuff you get.  I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get.  Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people.  So no more damn copyright lawsuits!


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