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Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails
Cute Kid!
Dog For Sale:
Answers to the name of Dolly.
Where your insurance claims go...
Why it's important to proofread your child's homework...
Marty could never let go of the love of his Big Wheel!
A good sign you're having a bad day...
The happiest alligator I know!
Quote of the Week "If you want more, you have to require more from yourself."
-- Dr Phil, Motivational Author and Talk Show
Host Joke of the Week Cowboy Boots A lady went into a bar in Waco, Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she’d ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet are well endowed. The cowboy grinned and said, “Shore is, little lady. Why don’t you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?” The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said, “Well, thankee, ma’am. Ah’m real flattered. Ain’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before.” “Don’t be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.”
Nice Emails of the Week Sweet tattoo!! Thanks for all the cool stuff you put on here, my kids and I just love the site. Keep us laughin.........David Though you are one of the nicest guys I know, I can’t help but be SUPER JEALOUS! Miami Ink! Man, it doesn’t get any better than that! Take care,
Ron
OMG! i am so jealous. you know, i am the queen of tattoos, sporting only ten! (steve hates tattoos) we watch miami ink all the time and one of my wishes is to be tattooed by cat. now of course, i would have to go to her parlor since she is no longer a part of miami ink. that must have been so awesome meeting all of the guys. you are my hero! lynn From Miss July
We had a "going away" party yesterday for a lady at our Mpls, claim
office. One of the supervisors called a Walmart superstore and ordered
the cake.
He told them to write: "Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that write "We will miss you". As the picture shows, it didn't quite turn out right. It was too funny not to keep it.
Happy Halloween, 2007! For More Funny Halloween Pictures!
Quote of the Week "It has been my observation that most people get ahead during the time that others waste time."
-- Henry Ford, Ford Motor Company Founder Joke of the Week
A
young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing
in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
Nice Emails of the Week
A quick hello from Pa.
I just wanted to let you
know that I work at the Willow Grove Naval Air Station. I have been
showing them your site and everyone LOVES it.
Everyone was blown away with
the driving in Iraq clip you had recently. It was so amazing. It was so
true as to what happens over there.
Keep up the GREAT work!
Chris
Quote of the Week “Anything’s possible. You can be told you have a 90% chance or a 50% chance or a 1% chance, but you have to believe, and you have to fight.”
– Lance Armstrong, cyclist Joke of the Week MARRIED FOR THE NIGHT A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly... he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed. "Good," she replied. "Get your own f*&%@* blanket!" After a moment of silence, he farted.
Nice Emails of the Week I really enjoy the site. I check it every week. Jon
Hi there I Got 1 For Ya
DO THE MOVIE THE COMEDY TOUR
Quote of the Week "My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging."
– Hank Aaron, baseball
player Joke of the Week THE 6 BEST SMART
ASS ANSWERS OF 2007 "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER
#4 She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No
ma'am, they're dead." The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally
stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." SMART ASS ANSWER
OF THE YEAR 2007 A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Nice Email of the Week I took this picture while driving out the back gate at Camp Pendleton… Just snapped a pic with my cell phone of a Marine and his pooch… If this doesn’t say ‘Laid Back’ I don’t know what does…. Mad Doc
Crazy Email Archives
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On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day. So email shortarmguy@aol.com the best stuff you get. I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get. Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people. So no more damn copyright lawsuits!
Help Support Shortarmguy.com!!
Feedback for me? Suggestions for site improvements? Funny jokes, audio files, video files that I can post here? Links to inspirational sites? Naked pictures of yourself or your girlfriend? Email me at shortarmguy@aol.com. Copyright © 2007 by Swank! Productions --- All rights reserved
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