Crazy emails, pictures, jokes, and political humor from Shortarmguy.com!

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said,

'Things are great and I've never felt better.'

I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.

'So what do you think about that Doc?'

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.

'I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.'

One day he was setting off to go hunting.

In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.'

'As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.

He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.

Out of habit he raised his cane , aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.'

'Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.

Now, what do you think of that?' asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said,

'Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.'

The doctor replied, 'My point exactly.'

Crazy Emails For February 10, 2008

Hillary's had a tough week!

The Worst Part Had To Be The Horns!

Man, This is going to hurt!

Worst Fake ID Ever!

Two girls. One boy.

What an appropriate vanity plate!

You're going to walk around like that? You must be nuts!

If you're going to sell on CraigsList, you should tell it like it is!

Country Funeral

To all you with rural roots, hope you get a kick out of this - -

As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave-side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost; and, in a rush, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew, who was eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do.

The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached the workers began to say "Amen," "Praise the Lord," and "Glory," I preached, and I preached, like I'd never preached before: from Genesis all the way to Revelation.

I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, "I ain't never seen anything like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Crazy Emails For February 3, 2008

Obama is already making plans for his new job!

Coming soon to a street corner near you....

I'm guessing the owner of this van will be happy to lend it to Ted.

I really thought this was going to be the Packers year....

Now that was an amazing landing!

Sometimes you just gotta go....

Looks like somebody isn't too thrilled to have a new step mom...

Can you come out to play?

“In a time of drastic change, it is the learners who inherit the future.”

Indian Message To The Moon

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they
did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation.

One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and
came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only
Navajo, asked a question which his son translated.
"What are these guys in the big suits doing?"

A member of the crew said they were practicing for
their trip to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked
if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.

Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the
NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his
message, they asked the son to translate it. He refused.

So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation
where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed but
refused to translate the elder's message to the moon.

Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government
translator. He reported that the moon message said,

Grandmas Don't Know Everything

Little Tony had been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked, "Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling"

Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK," and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you.!"