Crazy emails, pictures, jokes, and political humor from Shortarmguy.com!

“You don’t have to see the top of the staircase to take the first step.”

"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat. "

It was, 'Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it:

A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had used
up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. She hoped she would not have to use it because ... Her friend was, well--blonde.

But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the
question and the four choices.

The blonde responded unhesitatingly: 'That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo.'

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast.

She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Meredith any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering her
friend was a blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do.
But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude,
that the contestant could not help but be persuaded.

'I need an answer,' said Meredith.

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, 'C: The cuckoo.'

'Is that your final answer?'

'Yes, that is my final answer.'

And Meredith replied, 'That answer is. Absolutely correct! You are
now a millionaire!'

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and
friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million
dollars.

'Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you,' said the contestant.

'How did you happen to know the right answer?'

'Oh, come on,' said the blonde... 'Everybody knows that cuckoos don't
build nests. They live in clocks.'

I also want to say thanks for that website it really cracks me up a lot.
Thanks
Travis Allie

, YOUR SITE

VOLUME!

KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK,

YOU NOW HAVE A NEW FAN! CRAIG

Crazy Emails For March 9, 2008

Another Sign Winter Is Way Too Long!

Redneck Tree Swing

Redneck Mansion

Ultimate Peep Show

She's Not as Skinny as She Looks!

Extreme Foosball

The Fun Bulb

Quote of the Week

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

---Author Unknown

Joke of the Week

A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street
when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.

'Nice bike,' the cop said, 'Did Santa bring it to you?'

Yep,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5
ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, 'Next year
tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it.'

The young girl looked up at the cop and said,
'Nice horse you got, did Santa bring it to you?'

'Yes, he sure did,' chuckled the cop.

The little girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Next year
tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.'

Nice Emails of the Week

Shortarmguy / Todd,

Your site is the greatest! I have been visiting every Sunday night or Monday morning for at least 4 years. I look forward to your "Crazy E-Mails" and many of the sites I discovered through your "Favorite Websites of the Week" are now sites that I frequent. I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed the message from Lee Iacocca, but got skeptical part way through it, so I snoped it. I found that it was legit, however, incomplete...you can see the message in it's entirety here - http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/iacocca.asp.
Just thought you might want to know. I hope your family is doing well, keep up the good work and never stop daring to be different!

Thanks,

Mike

Crazy Emails For March 2, 2008

Real Life Penguin Smash Game

What Happens When You Sleep Around...

When Surgeons Get Bored

Which Way Is Up?

Cool Ads 2008

Pick Your Favorite Caption

1. 'Why did I marry her? Why didn't I just put a loaded gun in my mouth? Why God, Why?'

2. 'Holy crap, look at that ass. Somewhere, a semi-truck is missing its 'Oversized Load' sign.'

3. 'Somewhere, there's two fat girls, naked in a hot tub and I'm stuck here listening to her jabber on about health care. Geez, Rush is right, she does sound like Nurse Ratchet.'

4. 'And to think -- I could of had a V8'!

5. 'If Someone yelled 'Haul ass', it would take her two trips.'

6. 'Boy , Do I really want another four years of this?'

Quote of the Week

“Those who are blessed with the most talent don’t necessarily outperform everyone else. It’s the people with follow-through who excel.”

– Mary Kay Ash, May Kay Cosmetics founder

Joke of the Week

A man was in a long line at Wal-Mart. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout
girl if she could have some brought up to the register.

She asked, 'What size condoms?'

The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did.

She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, 'One box of large condoms, Register 5.'

The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill.

When he got up to the register, he told the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some
brought to the register for him.

She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did.

She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, 'One box of medium-sized condoms, Register 5.'

A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he Had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact
with a live female, so he thought this was his chance.

When he got to the register he told the checker he needed some condoms.

She asked him what size and he said he didn't know? She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze, then picked up the intercom and said...

(You'll love this one...................)

Cleanup, Register 5

Nice Emails of the Week

Todd,

I have been a fan for years and even though I have never met you I consider you a friend. From your postings I have derived that you are a man similar to me. You and I love God, we both love our families and America, but we're not afraid of a little risqué humor. I would like to tell you a story.

In January, 1991 my wife delivered my son stillborn on his due date. It destroyed everything in my life. I got divorced, lost my job, lost my house and lost friends that my wife got in the divorce.

Because of this I started going to church after many years of sleeping in on Sunday. After getting used to the group I broke down in my Sunday School class and spent the entire lesson time verbally vomiting over my new friends. No one told me to shut up or that I was wasting valuable lesson time, they listened and hugged me and told me that every thing was going to work out. I thought they were lying.

The next Sunday an elderly woman who didn't hear my story first hand but through her daughter met me at the front door of the church. She handed me a needlepoint that she had worked all week on. She said "I hope this helps you through your troubled times. And if it does, do me a favor. When you see someone who needs this more than you, give it to them". I agreed without looking at the needlepoint and she went inside.

I would show you a picture of it but I don't have it anymore. In fact it has been passed on at least four times since I first had it.

It said "I know God won't give me more than I can handle, but I wish He didn't trust me so much."

My prayers are with you and your family.

Your friend, Alan Daley

copper peak 12,400ft. wind was blowing snow about 50mph but I gave it my best short arm pose.

Jeff

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