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Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails
Quote of the Week “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”
– Charles Darwin, biologist Joke of the Week High Urinals
A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack at Trentham to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry, but mostly to see the horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said,
'You must be in the 5th grade.'
'No, ma'am', he replied.
'I'm the jockey riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.'
Quote of the Week “Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt, first lady Joke of the Week A Firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon
was being
pulled by her dog and her cat.
'That
sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration. girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the
cat's
testicles. how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around
the cat's
collar, I think you could go faster.' but then I wouldn't have a siren.'
Quote of the Week “Success is more a function of consistent common sense than it is of genius.”
– An Wang, industrialist Joke of the Week From a Packers Fan: It was announced today that Brett Favre is moving to Minnesota. When asked why, he said after retiring he wanted to get as far away from professional football as he could! We'll see who's laughing at the end of next season!
You're a Monkey Booger Picker!
Best Argument For Gun Rights I've Ever Seen!
Don't feel like you need to wait for me before you take the family photo....
Now that's just too cute...
I think I'd be a little nervous following this guy...
Quote of the Week "We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about."
-- Charles Kingsley, Clergyman Joke of the Week
A male patient is lying in
bed in the hospital,
The man pulls off his oxygen mask,
smiles at her and
Nice Emails of the Week Hey, Todd!
Crazy Email Archives
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On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day. So email shortarmguy@aol.com the best stuff you get. I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get. Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people. So no more damn copyright lawsuits!
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Feedback for me? Suggestions for site improvements? Funny jokes, audio files, video files that I can post here? Links to inspirational sites? Naked pictures of yourself or your girlfriend? Email me at shortarmguy@aol.com. Copyright © 2007 by Swank! Productions --- All rights reserved
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